I have a really bad temper, like a go to jail level temper. Because I do not want to go to jail, because I want to have a healthy and successful life full of functioning relationships, I have trained myself to circumnavigate my temper by never allowing myself (or trying to never allow myself) to act on an immediate negative response. Instead I make a face like Im concentrating real hard, I get real quiet, and then I tell you whatever is happening is fine. That is me shoving aside whatever offense set off the warning bells in my head for later consideration. Then I spend a number of days making sure I have a reason to be angry and am not just jumping straight to beast mode. The problem with this is, when I have finally decided that there was a good reason to be mad and that I do need to confront the problem, the person who I have the conflict with has spent days thinking that everything is fine and, more often than not, they have forgotten the conversation entirely. So they end up feeling ambushed. I never feel good about that, though I do feel like it is better than the alternative. But if I make a grim face and I dont speak for a long, long moment, thats me keeping the devil down in his hole.
Posted on: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 12:54:54 +0000
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