I have a very important message that I want to bring to everyones attention. I want to thank everyone who has kept me in your thoughts and prayers this year, during many trials and battles I have gone through, especially with my health. in the past 7 months, I have undergone through 6 painful procedures on my lungs, which has also caused me to be worn out and have no energy. And through the midst of all this, I was still a Rabbinical-Leader, a Counselor, a Friend, in a Relationship, a Humanitarian & Philantrophist, I started a few Orphanages, a Motivational-Speaker, a Independent Party Candidate for Governor of Minnesota (despite I lost my Partys Endorsement by a few votes), and all the many other roles I was looked towards operating in, and it helped me keep going when I wanted to just give up Hope. But during this Jewish Season of Festivals & Feasts, especially two important ones starting this evening- Rosh Hashana (Jewish New Year), & Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) IN 10 DAYS, every Jewish adherent, including myself is required to take a look at our own life, and see where we must improve or repent to G-D for our sins and shortcomings.... To my fellow Jewish Friends, Family, & Colleagues, I say Shana Tova! May You Be Inscribed For A Good Year, & May You Be Inscribed In The Book Of Life. Happy Rosh Hashana! For me, I am looking forward to a good year (5775) in the Hebrew Calender, but I am already starting to examine my life 10 days before Yom Kippur, and making a list of things I need to make right, and things, I too must repent to G-D for and make Atonement for. During my own examination of my life this year, I have realized part of my failure to my health, and social life, is because I have been so busy taking care of Everyone Else, and being there for everyone else when they needed me, that I HAVE FAILED to take care of my own self, and take time for me.... I HAVE FAILED not being there for family members more like I should of, and I HAVE FAILED those I love and hold dear to my heart, by not being there or seeing them as I wanted or planned. I have Family, & My Close and Best Friend who has gone through so much trials and crisis in the Barberton-Akron-Cleveland, Ohio Area that needed me around, and I didnt do more that I could of or should of done to help or be there for them, and now I Have to take the time to not just apologize, and make right too, but also make a trip out there to spend more time with them happen and a reality.... especially to my Close and Best Friend in Barberton, who is drifting away from me, and this has made me feel lost..... to this person you know who you are, and I am deeply sorry.... my heart and spirit is broken. I have Family in Texas, Florida, & New York, that I have not seen in many years, and one thing I wanted to do, was go and see them and spend time with them in 2013-14, and I have allowed time to pass me by with the cares of this world, and my expected roles at being here for everyone else with no time for my own family, or for me has now taken a serious tow on my heart and life. So during this time before Yom Kippur, I HAVE WEPT & CRIED MOST OF THE NIGHT WITH A BROKEN HEART & SPIRIT LAST NIGHT, thinking of all this.... and I am now making a difficult decision that I feel G-D is making me do, for a season.... and I am Sorry to all of you who gets offended or angry at me for this, but this is between Me, G-D, & Those whom I am Failing, and not everyone else.... AS OF TODAY, UNTIL TIME FURTHER KNOWN, I AM STEPPING AWAY FROM MY MINISTRY, MY FAITH, MY RABBINICAL-ROLES, ALL POLITICAL ENGAGEMENTS, AND I AM EVEN POSTPONING ALL MY SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS, & TOUR DATES FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS, OR MAYBE INDEFINATELY....I DONT KNOW, ONLY G-D KNOWS. As Hard as this is for me, It is something I must do, in order to make right the things i have failed at, and the people I have hurt that are dear to me, especially my Closest & Best Friend.... Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement/Awe) is not to be easy.... and I am starting my own period of Yom Kippur Now, Starting Today.... Its funny.... I said a prayer once to G-D that started me on my lifes journey to being who I am today--- I prayed G-D LET MY HEART BE BROKEN TO WHAT BREAKS YOUR HEART. AND AFTER LAST NIGHT, I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THE TRUE MEANING TO MY OWN PETITION AND PRAYER.... SOMETIMES IT IS US...WE... OURSELVES THAT BREAKS THE VERY HEART OF G-D AND WE FAIL TO REALIZE IT UNTIL HE HAS TO BREAK OURS. BUT WHAT BRINGS US REDEMPTION AND RESTITUTION TO G-D IS COMING BEFORE HIM WITH A BROKEN AND CONTRITE HEART. AND AS I PREPARE FOR YOM KIPPUR, I AM ENTERING THE SEASON WITH A BROKEN AND CONTRITE HEART, NOT JUST TO G-D, BUT ALSO TO MYSELF, MY FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND LOVED ONES, INCLUDING MY CLOSEST AND BEST FRIEND WHO I LOVE DEARLY, THAT I HAVE LET DOWN OR NOT DONE ENOUGH FOR...... BECAUSE I BECAME TOO OVERWHELMED TO BE AT EVERYONE ELSES AIDE, TO DO MY JOB IN RELIGION AND MY QUEST TO ASSIST IN THE ISRAELI-PEACE PROCESS, AND MY ROLES WITHIN MY SYNAGOGUE, AND THE TEMPLE MOUNT INSTITUTE, AS WELL AS MY POLITICAL-ROLES. I PRAY THAT YOU ALL BE BLESSED, AND THOSE WHO I HAVE FAILED OR LET DOWN, I AM TRULY SORRY, AND I COME TO FIND REDEMPTION. TO MY FELLOW JEWISH FRIENDS, DURING THIS SEASON OF HOLY DAYS WE ARE ENTERING, I ENCOURAGE YOU TO ALSO EXAMINE YOUR OWN LIVES, AND SEE WHERE YOU MUST MAKE THE STEPS FOR REPAIRS. NOW, AS FOR ME, I MUST GO FIND MY HOPE.... THE HOPE AND DREAM THAT I HAVE LOST, AND SEE IF I CAN REPAIR MY LOST. SHALOM BRIAN
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:33:13 +0000
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