I have battled anxiety & depression since childhood. I have suffered severe emotional and physical trauma my entire life. I have always had this nagging feeling even as a child that I was to good for this world & was never meant to be here. I had suicidal thoughts, I even tried to kill myself as a child...I wanted my pain to end. I get my strength to fight and live through others & God has continuously placed ppl in my life who made me want to. My suicidal thoughts started getting stronger about a month or so ago. I cant believe Im telling you this... My whole life ppl have leaned on me & I didnt mind bc it gave me a reason to want to live. I liked being needed. I dont feel like I have anything else to give anymore tho. I am so drained. No one has ever truly loved me the way that I loved them & thats really messed up bc I am such a good person with such a big heart...Im sorry that I am not as strong as I seem. I thought that something miraculous was happening in my life finally but I am not so sure anymore. Ppl are drawn to me for many reasons, beauty, intelligence, positive energy, my giving nature...although drawn to me, they are selfish & only want to take...never give. If you have selfish intentions plz stay away from me. The devil has sent several ppl into my life to attack me & they have done so happily & are disgustingly content with themselves & their evil ways. I am sick of being taken advantage of and abused. My heart is too weak right now & I just cant deal...If you are one of those ppl (you know who you are) dont you DARE comment on this post. God does NOT like ugly, & I cant stand fake & phony...
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 15:55:32 +0000
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