I have been feeling a little derailed the last couple of weeks and have really struggled trying to get back on track. Usually I have more Faith than I dont and more Peace than I dont and I am more Grateful than I am not but the tables had turned. I felt like I had been pushed past my threshold, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Its usually easier for me to find the positives and blessings in most every situation but it had become quite a challenge. So last week I started my Healthy Habits program and was able to exercise in small increments (which I havent been able to do in years) and started eating better. I ended up having a seizure on Friday but I pushed through and continued following my program. As of Sunday I had lost 4 pounds which gave me some hope. Sunday was filled with alot of hope and answers as I prayed more, read my scriptures more, read my Patriarchal Blessing and was surrounded by so many people that I Love. I went to bed thinking that I was starting to feel more like myself. Then when I woke up yesterday morning (Monday) I went to get out of bed and a hernia just under my ribcage that I have had for about a year tore even more and the pain that has come and gone throughout the year got way worse and wouldnt go away. I went to the Doctor and he said it wasnt going to go away this time without surgery and he scheduled me to see a Surgeon. I cried alot yesterday. I didnt want another surgery. I didnt want to stop exercising. I didnt want to not be able to lift Journee whenever I wanted or needed to. I had quite the pity party for myself. Then when I went to bed last night Tony reminded me that we will get through this the same way we have gotten through everything else and that he would be there to help me like he always has been and my mind was flooded with how many blessings I had received that day alone and it brought me Peace. My sweet friend Kristi Chlarson watched Journee for me yesterday when I went to the Doctor and she had alot of encouraging words for me when I got back from my appointment including a reminder to take it 1 day at a time or 1 hour or even 1 minute at a time cause in reality thats all we have to do. On Tonys way home from work my mom called him and said to stop by Taco Bell cause she had called in advance and had ordered and paid for dinner for us which was such a blessing :-) Then my sweet friend Andria Wood posted a talk titled One Degree Colder on her Facebook and although I was only able to watch a few minutes of it it reminded me that I have WAY more Blessings than I have problems :-) The speaker also talked about the scripture that says that God uses ALL things for our betterment and he talked about how Miracles require Faith, as he said that I thought about how much I Love Miracles and being able to see Gods Love and Power manifested in my life which brought me to the thought that Miracles also require trials....Needless to say I am feeling much better today :-) I still dont want to have another surgery but I am looking forward to seeing what Miracles and Tender Mercies we will receive during this new trial. I am also looking forward to my relationship with my Father in Heaven being strengthened as I rely on Him and Trust in Him to help us through. I have ALOT more BLESSINGS than I do problems!! I truly am BLESSED
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 15:29:47 +0000
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