I have been fighting a migraine from yesterday afternoon through today, so I will be as brief as possible in telling you why yesterday was A VERY UPSETTING DAY. Upon a recommendation, I went to see a Traditional Native Healer, Registered Nurse named Doreen Spence. Who is supposed to be this GREAT healer......... NOT I got into the treatment room, noticed the pillow was used (head indent and hair on it) so I flipped it over, only disrobed still wearing shirt and pants. She hurried me through filling out a form of personal info with a tiny space for my Reason for visit. She had me lay on my back, put a warm beanbag over my eyes so I couldnt see, and proceeded with a half hour routine of taping and hitting tuning forks and holding them to various parts of me from head to toe. I prayed a bit, and thought hope I dont get bedbugs from laying on this Wolf-faced blanket that Im sure many other people have laid on without it being cleaned She made no sounds, except a cough or two, and the only time she spoke, she asked me why I came there. I told her what I have been through for the last five years. I had to repeat my sister, Anns name three times. I dont think she heard all of what I said I found the sound and sensation of the tuning forks to be very interesting, nothing more. When she finished that, she did a quasi-muddled Rieki for about 5-10 minutes, and finished. I sat up and thanked her. She asked me if my pain level was reduced. I said it was reduced by about 2 (from 7 to 5) because I was laying down and relaxing and that always helps my pain level. Then she said I dont help people like you I replied sorry? and she said I dont help people who want to commit suicide. I had neither written that I wanted to commit suicide, nor had I said it, so I responded But I DONT want to commit suicide. I may want to die, but I dont want to commit suicide!. She said I help people who appreciate life and have goals I said I do appreciate life as best I can and I want to have goals, but I dont know what they are. She said I help people who want to move forward I replied I DO WANT to move forward, but with MS, its difficult to know how to move forward. Her long pause of silence and the look of disdain on her face gave me the impression, she neither believes in MS, nor in depression. Surprising to me from someone who has their RN. Then she told me some story about a guy she met after a conference she spoke at in New Zealand (I think I was supposed to be impressed here, but I wasnt). He was suicidal, she had a talk with him, but he left in anger. Two years later, he returned with roses for her to thank her because he got a college degree he wanted, and realized how great the love of his wife and child were. I smiled, nodded and shrugged with an expression of confusion (story had no details and was not applicable to me). She said People (me) are so stupid, they cant see that beauty is all around them, and I responded I do see the beauty, in every nuance, in all its intricacy, of Gods creation, every day She told me what a hard time she had growing up on the Res and how they werent allowed past grade 5, so she had to sneak around the system to get her education. I nodded and smiled (good for you). Then she removed eye contact and sat rolling up her towels for her next appointment, and she said I think people who commit suicide are SELFISH, SELFISH, SELFISH, and they dont care about ANYONE but themselves The smile quickly disappeared from my face. I had just finished telling her how much PAIN PAIN PAIN my sister Ann was in and that she was depressed, and not in her right mind, and what a generous and good person Ann always was, and that she suffered from Abused Womens Syndrome. Then she stood up and looked me in the eye and said I understand, and I said NO, you dont, and she said Yes, I do, to which I replied very slowly and very loudly N-O, Y-O-U D-O-N-T!. Then I tersely said Thank you for your time and I turned and walked out the door. Kept telling myself, on the way back that she was, in essence, telling me she only helps winners and I didnt qualify. Otherwise she would have suggested intense counseling, or something else....anything else. I still think she believes MS is malarkey and so is depression. I also thought about the fact that she said SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH. Shes right up there with that jackass reporter Shepard Smith from Fox news who called Robin Williams a coward and was forced to retract his idiotic, misinformed, comment. I really tried not to let her obvious disdain for me and for my sister, to bother me. To let the look of disgust on Doreen Spences face bother me, but to tell you the truth....it does bother me. On her website, it says Doreen believes that with unconditional love, passion and persistence one person (herself) can make a difference. What a great big pile of doo doo. Doreen Spences website also says has been a Senator at the University of Calgary. I find this tragic, because to me, she just seemed like a fraud. I know hate in the eyes of anther when it is directed at me, and thats what I got from her. Footnote: yesterday, I emailed Doreen Spence and said It is unfortunate you misunderstood me so terribly, and that we had a bad session because of it. Her reply, Dear Grace, I did not have a bad session! How can i when i tap into the angels and guides. I communicate with them the entire time. They do the healing......i hold Sacred space. I did see a herd of horses, a turtle and grandfather sun etc..... blessings, Doreen WHAT?? I didnt bother to email her back, but I wondered what those signs meant, especially ETCETERA (seriously?) and reflected that it would have been helpful if she had said so DURING our session. I think if she is tapping into something, its all only existent in her own mind, she had zero connection to me, otherwise she would have connected to the fact that I was praying in earnest during our session, seen my pain, seen that I am a good person, seen how hard I try,.... Do you think I should email her back? Or has she done her damage and taken up enough of my time?
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 00:59:08 +0000
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