I have been in shock since I heard the news of Robin Williams death. He has touched my life so profoundly through his art, his creativity, and his love of humor. And when I heard of how he died and how he suffered, I am overwhelmed with the realization of how beauty and utter desperation can live side by side the way they do. And I am sitting here feeling the deepest kind of compassion I know - the kind that understands what it is like to feel that anxiety, that something-is-wrong-ness, that loneliness. Wow I have been there and oh how I can slip back into this easily. The only answer I have been able to come up with to any of this - about addiction, depression, lostness, is that we have all bought into the belief so wholeheartedly that we are separate from our Source. We forget so deeply that we ARE the love that we seek and feel so alienated from. Sometimes we just need to sit with our hearts wide open to welcome in all the pain, all the horror, all the grief - for everyone and for ourselves - and hold each others hands while we do so. And to trust that Love has our backs. That who we really are can handle this, even when our small invented self cannot see the way. I truly know with everything I am that only Love is real but this other crappy day-to-day stuff feels oh-so-overwhelmingly real and being here feels oh-so-overwhelmingly hard sometimes. I wish it didnt but it does. And Robin Williams, I salute your ability to bring joy, your inability to find it for yourself, your willingness to keep bringing the joy anyway and your artful, deep, compassionate, courageous-to-stay-as-long-as-you-did-in-this-messy-world, enormous heart. You are no longer identified with your body or your personality and I know the angels are celebrating you just as much as we are back here.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 20:01:52 +0000