I have been in the pool a lot lately, one because of the sudden humidity California has been experiencing (thanks shifted polar vortex) and two because, as you all know, I own the only Labrador who does not run and jump with wild abandon into any body of water available. So I have noticed a few things. As I was treading water one day in the deep end talking to Parker, who was staring at me with great confusion from the side of the pool wondering why I would ever willfully go in there, I noticed that I was really good at treading water. I mean I could just go and go. It was a like a new superpower I had received. At one point I stopped my legs and arms and just bobbed around, not sinking. I then discovered that the superpower I thought I had received was actually just my enormous ass and giant boobs. Yes, built in flotation devices. Natures counterweights. Now this would be all well and good if I were in a shipwreck and stranded at sea. Anyone who follows me or Parker on his facebook page, Parkers Parables, has noticed that my Iphone has made its way into the pool several times to film or take pictures. Though I knew it was a really bad idea, I convinced myself I would not drop it and I would be really careful. Feeling my good luck was running out, I decided to get a waterproof case so I would not have to be so stressed playing with it in the pool. This way I could go under water film and take pictures. Here in lies the problem. I was so excited to get the case yesterday I immediately ran into my room, threw on my bathing suit (and by run and threw on, I mean walked back to my room and feverishly pulled the speedo on over my now sweating body from the heat and humidity, much like Ross in Friends when he couldnt get the leather pants back on.). I made my way to the pool with the Iphone in its case along with the wrist guard floaty that is Orange, my favorite color. Parker also has an affinity for orange and immediately locked onto that wrist floaty. I went to grab Parkers life vest and he ran and jumped onto the first step of the pool, like that was going to get him out of swimming. I jumped in the pool and Parker immediately swam after me, I was shocked, and realized he was coming for the Floaty! I had to swim far enough away that he decided the floaty was not worth a trip to the deep end. So now I grabbed my phone and thought Awesome! I am going to go underwater and take pics and text them to my friends..... One problem, natures counterweights were not going to let that be a reality, I literally could not sink enough to take a picture without shooting right to the top. I tried blowing out my air because someone said that would help me sink, no deal, wasnt happening. Then I thought I would go get some weights and put them in my suit but instantly saw the headlines Woman drowns in pool as aquaphobic dog looks on, Police still puzzled how dog had orange floaty
Posted on: Sat, 12 Jul 2014 19:18:08 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015