I have been on convoys where I did not know if they were mined. I have been on foot patrols where I did not know if a sniper had me in his crosshairs. I have ridden in helicopters over the deserts of Iraq where I could have taken ground fire or been knocked out of the sky by heat seeking rockets. I have been in heavily populated areas and checkpoints where I did not know if someone had a suicide vest. I was scared and the only thing that was for certain was uncertainty. But I had my faith in God and my brothers by my side with me. I never felt alone, I I knew I wouldnt be abandoned. I dont know what it is I feel right now. I dont know if Im scared worried or concerned. I would wake up overseas wondering is today the day, I wouldnt worry about the next day, I was just trying to survive the day. I worried about the next day when the next day came. I guess it was because I was more worried about living. Now its a different story, whats going to happen tomorrow the day after the next week or the following week, month or year. I dont know where Im going with this. Im sure there will be scrutiny in what I just said. I dont worry about life or death. I dont worry about money or a roof over my head. My concern and my worry is for my son. I know his mother and grandmother are taking good care him. But I worry how my son will feel about me. What kind of reception will I get when I get to him. I dont know if he knows Im his father. I dont know how his mother will receive me. Am I gonna get another curve ball like the last time I saw my son? Am I gonna be welcome? Will he run to me or away from me? All I know is what Im going to do when I see him. Im gonna fall to my knees grab hold of him hold him tight and tell him how much I love him and miss him. There isnt a doubt in mind that I will cry. And Im not gonna want to let go.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 02:51:14 +0000