I have been thinking about ego--what it is, how we discern it. We can not see it, taste it, touch it. In one respect, it is like gravity: we can talk about it, describe its effects upon that which is around it, but really not much more. The following is an excerpt from a recent E-mail that I sent: After my awakening, one of the biggest changes I found in myself was a feeling of disconnectedness. Having seen the other side, the things of this reality had dimmed in importance. In fact, when I was courting the woman who would become my wife, I felt that I had to be totally honest, that I had to lay myself bare, so that a union would not be begun with hidden secrets. I knew at that time that I had had a mystical experience, though not that it was Kundalini. I told her that I didnt feel that I fit in this world, that I was out of place. I felt like my eyes were a pair of windows in the front of my face (a barrier between me and the world) and that I looked through the eye holes as an observer of the world and not a participant. While I knew that this admission might paint me as crazy, I needed to be honest. But my feeling of disconnectedness was pervasive. And just today, in an amazing instance of synchronicity, I read about Jungian analysis of consciousness. If the ego part of personality was dominant, one operates well integrated in life, but with little soul. If the awareness part of personality was dominant (the soul) then one operated as an observer. My awakening squashed the ego and I then operated from awareness/soul. Hence, the disconnected observer. I have thought of an analogy that for me puts things in perspective. Imagine yourself as a point of awareness/consciousness that wants to have a human experience. You take on a body and become a person, but you do not know how to operate the flesh in which you are incorporate. The ego comes to your aid and drives the vehicle. You soon merge with the ego, unaware that there are actually two aspects of what is you. If you should become awakened, the ego will still be driving, but now will be the chauffeur, It will now be you--or, more likely your Kundalini--that will now be deciding the direction of your journey. Of course, this may be all wrong, but that is how I see it.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 21:38:39 +0000
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