I have decided that, with a some obvious exceptions, the events - TopicsExpress



          

I have decided that, with a some obvious exceptions, the events passing between my 35th and 36th birthday can suck my big toe. Clearly, I have not lived a life of misery and woe. However, as I celebrated my 35th birthday in Helen with almost every single person I loved, I thought I had my life ready to go. I thought it was laid out in front of my ready to go. I thought positive things lay before me, like flowers just waiting to unfurl. Many of my flowers, like my poor neglected garden, seem to have rotted on the vine. So, I will just take those rotted flowers, just like my garden, wait for them to dry out, and burn them, and till them under. There will probably be gasoline involved. Remember, there is a fireball inside of me, and she is slowly wakening, and Im pretty sure she is pissed off. I dont know why my world fell apart around me. The life I thought I was building disintegrated. The family I thought I had is gone. The business I scraped, struggled, I started with $300 and worked out of the trunk of my car, I worked three full time jobs, I was on the verge of opening a hospital, thats all gone now. Poof. Gone. My horse is dead. I had to put him down. He was only six. He was training with the National Mounted Police Services. And a random tumor took him from me. I lost my mare after 20 years. And two weeks after the family I thought I was building fell apart, I got bitten by fifty ticks. Two weeks after that I was in the hospital. I am done with this last year. Do not get me wrong. It has not been all bad. Many wonderful things have happened, and I will cherish them. But, these bad things. these flowers on the vine of my life that rotted without opening, Im going to let them dry. Im going to burn them. Im going to till the whole thing under. And Im going to start with brand new fresh soil. What else do we do? We begin again. I am still being very still. I am still being very quiet. I am still listening. I am still waiting. Right now, God says hush.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Sep 2014 01:39:24 +0000

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