I have found that even those close to me, and have been for decades, still do not understand what goes on inside of me. Recently I attempted to head to the wilderness without any real chance of survival. There was a big uproar because I did not disappear without telling anyone where I went. I was accused to not trusting God for an answer, when in fact it takes total trust to head to someone where, in the human mind, you will surely parish. I have become a slave to a corrupt political system. Under this system I will never be allowed to retire and forced to work hard for the rest of my life as a slave. I will not live as a slave. Winston Churchill talked about this kind of political corruption. There is a famous quotation from him. “If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed, if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly, you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a small chance of survival. There may even be a worse case: you may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves.” I find myself in the worse case where there is no hope of victory. I honestly believe that it is better to perish than to live as a slave. I had made my plans to go into the wilderness and attempt to survive without proper equipment. I have been made so destitute that there was going to be no way to buy proper to equipment, so I was going to go anyway. I still find myself in survival mode. I look all the time at the equipment that it would take to survive at an altitude just under 2 miles high. I, of course, cannot afford any of the equipment I need. Only because of the outcry from eight children do I fight the compulsion to head into the rugged mountains where nobody could follow without a 4wd, and atv, and climbing ropes and equipment. I am a very proud man and hate to rely on anybody. I am one who loves to give and hates to receive. I have an almost impossible time fighting that pride. I am heart broken because I was helping a ministry in Florida with finances to feed the homeless. I am grasping for any way I can pull myself out of the abyss I find myself in so that I can continue to serve others. I am a failure in my own mind because I am unable to give to my children the things that they need. I wanted to give my two youngest children laptops. One of them is entering college and I felt that a laptop would be a wonderful tool to help him in his classwork. I search in vain to find answers how I am to take care of my eight children. Dont tell me how many children I have. Children are not always biological. My children never ask for much but I want to give much. That is a deep part of what makes me worth drawing breath. Child Support Division in Texas thinks they have done something by making me destitute. All they did was to destroy, again, the possibility of me providing for my children. They are malevolent despots for destroying my ability to provide for my children. The next time you want to make a judgment against me for going into a melt down just remember that I have determined that I will not live as a slave and would rather perish than to live that way. I would rather go into the wilderness and die than to be slowly tortured to death by evil entities in the government.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Jul 2014 12:28:23 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015