I have given my speech and now I will share it with you all: Family Support Speech: Hello and Welcome, my name is Celeste Smithson and I am the FRG Leader for the Camp Blanding Joint Training Center HHC. We are here this weekend to build skills which we will all NEED to Unlock the Power of Resiliency. I will begin with the Websters Dictionary definition of resilience as it pertains to why we are here today. RESILIENCE: NOUN- The ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. Now I will share who I am and my story: I am a friend, sister, daughter, home schooling parent, PTA President, FRG Leader, that list can go on and on, but most importantly I hold 3 titles that mean the most in my life. I am a mother of two wonderful children, Madeline, age 12 and Colin, age 8. I am a Gold Star Wife of 8 months, but MOST importantly I AM/WE ARE RESILIENT. Many of you may be unaware of what a Gold Star Wife is. Being a Gold Star Family is an honor (which no one truly wants) bestowed by Congress beginning in 1947 to recognize a spouse, parent and child of a fallen soldier who has died in either a combat situation or Active Duty Status. On December 11, 2013, my husband, SGT Jeffrey Smithson, collapsed during a PT test, while drilling at a unit he had just transferred to the week before. I was lucky enough to have been there, for his last words he heard were, I love you and we will be ok. No one is quite sure how they will react when you are placed in this kind of situation. God only knows I was not expecting anything like this. If you attended last years Volunteer Workshop and took the Personality test, you would understand the meaning behind my color - I AM A GOLD.... A STRONG GOLD.... I make a list, I plan, I cross things off my list, I rewrite my list because that one has a mark on it... I prepare for everything. But not for the death of my husband. Right in front of my eyes and 4 hours away from my children and anyone else I knew. IT HAPPENED. OK, Now what? Auto pilot kicked in. The first thing I new to do was call my life line, my Best Friend, my BATTLE BUDDY, Penny Jarriel, and her husband Dwayne, whom was Jeffreys best friend. They could take care of me and get me home. The second thing I knew to do was protect my children. For the powers and quickness of social media is faster than you can imagine. Because I homeschool my daughter, I knew I had to remove her from our home and take her phone immediately from her. I could not risk her finding out from anyone other than myself about her Daddy. Then I called my sons school to let the principal know of Jeffreys death and I wanted Colin to have a normal day and to not let any teacher be over heard talking about his death. I received the 1st notification of Jeffreys passing on his cell phone from FB within 20 minutes of his death. It was a fellow soldier whom posted. Thank God, I was proactive. After arriving home later that afternoon, my house was filled with close friends and family. I can not tell you who was there, I just know there were people everywhere. I walked in to my bedroom, still on auto pilot, because I remembered hearing Jeffreys voice saying, if anything ever happened to him, everything I would need would be in The Box. Oh the BOX, the dreaded box! Not the Fire Safe Box, but the BOX. It was a Wooden full size foot locker from his years he spent as a Marine. I stubbed my toe on that darn thing many of times and complained about it daily. I begged him to get rid of it or move it to the garage because it did not match the funiture. He said it was important and it needed to stay right there. Boy, was he right! That box held everything! Numerous copies of everything and more. In fact, there were about 20 copies of his DD 214s. Note to you all, one copy will suffice. Not all of you may be blessed to have an army green wooden foot locker to hold all of your important papers, and some not so important. But you can have the best tool out there to help you. It is a small book appropriately entitled, My Life in a Box, you put all of your important information in this book. From banking, insurance, Social Security numbers, to a copy of your will. I can not stress the importance of having all of this info in one place. If, sadly, you are in the same position I was placed in, people will begin asking for information immediately. When your CAO, Causality Assistance Officer, knocks on your door to do the Official Death Notification, he or she will start needing this information in their hands when asked. If your papers are not together, then you could find yourself in a very difficult situation. In the days following Jeffreys death, my house became a military hub. In and out people came, our very own Debbie came everyday to make sure that we had food and the necessities. She became the official greeter. Dwayne moved mountains to make sure that Jeffrey would be honored, like only a best friend and Commander could do. Penny and their oldest daughter Madesyn, put their lives on hold to take care of me. There were moments, I did not know my name, I could not even remember Jeffreys name, I could not remember to eat, I could not sleep. Soon, the funeral came. It was an emotionally tough day, but beside me every step of the way was my Jarriel family. Pennys words to me constantly were, one step at a time, one day at a time. In the following weeks, Christmas came and went. As the new year approached, people were still dropping in at the house. I was having trouble functioning, I was weak, I had lost my direction. One day I looked at the faces of my children and realized I need to get myself together. They needed me to let them know that WE WERE going to be OK. I realized that I am not the only person grieving. I needed to pull it together, figure out a plan, and take action. THEY deserve it.... I deserve it. I told myself more times than one, I AM A SURVIVOR, I AM NOT A VICTIM! I must be a Role Model for my children, for now they only have one parent. I am going to show them what it means to be a Smithson. What it means to stand tall, and walk forward. I will continue the plan that Jeffrey and I had in life. Share the experiences, love, and direction just like we planned. Dont get me wrong there were days, I cried, I still cry, but I realize that yes, I miss him, will always love him, but most importantly, I HAVE BEEN BLESSED. BLESSED to have him as my life partner. Yes, my life did not go as planned, but I learned how to live life from Jeffrey. Since his death, I have learned a lot about myself and grief. That everyone grieves differently, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, that it is OK to cry in front of my children. I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. What I want to be is a positive role model for not only my children but for others that can learn from the path I have traveled. I have lived Chapter 1 of my life. I have opened the book to Chapter 2 and I WILL make a difference. I WILL live and I WILL love. I WILL cherish each day, and I WILL be happy! Because tomorrow is not promised so live for today. So today, I stand firm, definitely out of my comfort zone, and have shared with you not only who I am and my experience. But that you must always be prepared for anything. Surround yourself with AMAZING people, who will help you step forward even when you think you can not. You ARE stronger than you think. Find your courage and take that step. TOUGH TIMES DONT LAST - TOUGH PEOPLE DO! I will close with: Sometimes it takes death to show us the beauty of life. Remember your lessons, honor those that taught you, LIVE in the moment, and never stop growing. You cant change the past but you can live for the now, writing an epic tale of beauty and life. No Excuses, No Regrets.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 13:13:54 +0000
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