I have had the good fortune to surround myself with some very relaxed, peaceful, and loving people. Some of these people are best-selling authors, loving parents, counselors, computer experts, and chief executive officers. All of them are fulfilled in what they do and are very proficient at their given skills. I have learned the important lesson: When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. Its thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others. Develop your compassion. Nothing helps us build our perspective more than developing compassion for others. Compassion is a sympathetic feeling. It involves the willingness to put yourself in someone elses shoes, to take the focus off yourself and to imagine what its like to be in someone elses predicament, and simultaneously, to feel love for that person. Its the recognition that other peoples problems, their pain and frustrations, are every bit as real as our own - often far worse. In recognizing this fact and trying to offer some assistance, we open our own hearts and greatly enhance our sense of gratitude. Compassion is something you can develop with practice. It involves two things: intention and action. Intention simply means you remember to open your heart to others; you expand what and who matters, from yourself to other people. Action is simply the what you do about it.You might donate a little money or time (or both) on a regular basis to a cause near to your heart. Or perhaps youll offer a beautiful smile and genuine hello to the people you meet on the street. Its not soimportant what you do, just that you do something. We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love. Compassion develops your sense of gratitude by taking your attention off all the little things that most of us have learned to take too seriously. When you take time, often, to reflect on the miracle of life, the gift of sight, of love, and all the rest, it can help to remind you that many of the things that you think of as big stuff are really just small stuff that you are turning into big stuff. So many of us live our lives as if the secret purpose is to somehow get everything done. We stay up late, get up early, avoid having fun, and keep our loved ones waiting. Sadly, Ive seen many people who put off their loved ones so long that the loved ones lose interest in maintaining the relationship. I used to do this myself. Often, we convince ourselves that our obsession with our to do list is only temporary - that once we get through the list, well be calm, relaxed, and happy. But in reality, this rarely happens. As items are checked off, new ones simply replace them. The nature of your in basket is that its meant to have items to be completed in it - its not meant to be empty. There will always be phone calls that need to be made, projects to complete, and work to be done. In fact, it can be argued that a full in basket is essential for success. It means your time is in demand! Regardless of who you are or what you do, however, remember that nothing is more important than your own sense of happiness and inner peace and that of your loved ones. If youre obsessed with getting everything done, youll never have a sense of well being! In reality, almost everything can wait. Very little in our work lives truly falls into the emergency category. If you stay focused on your work, it will all get done in due time. I find that if I remind myself (frequently) that the purpose of life isnt to get it all done but to enjoy each step along the way and live a life filled with love, its far easier for me to control my obsession with completing my list of things to do. Remember, when you die, there will still be unfinished business to take care of. And you know what? Someone else will do it for you! Dont waste any more precious moments of your life regretting the inevitable. Do something nice for someone else - and dont tell anyone about it. While many of us frequently do nice things for others, we are almost certain to mention our acts of kindness to someone else, secretly seeking their approval. When we share our own niceness or generosity with someone else, it makes us feel like we are thoughtful people, it reminds us of how nice we are and how deserving we are of kindness. While all acts of kindness are inherently, wonderful, there is something even more magical about doing something thoughtful but mentioning it to no one, ever. You always feel good when you give to others. Rather than diluting the positive feelings by telling others about your own kindness, by keeping it to yourself you get to retain all the positive feelings. Its really true that one should give for the sake of giving, not to receive something in return. This is precisely what you are doing when you dont mention your kindness to others - your rewards are the warm feelings that come from the act of giving. The next time you do something really nice for someone else, keep it to yourself and revel in the abundant joy of giving. Let others have the glory. There is something magical that happens to the human spirit, a sense of calm that comes over you, when you cease needing all the attention directed toward yourself and instead allow others to have the glory. Our need for excessive attention is that ego-centered part of us that says, Look at me. Im special. My story is more interesting than yours. Its that voice inside of us that may not come right out and say it, but that wants to believe that my accomplishments are slightly more important than yours. The ego is that part of us that wants to be seen, heard, respected, considered special, often at the expense of someone else. Its the part of us that interrupts someone elses story, or impatiently waits his turn to speak so that he can bring the conversation and attention back to himself. To varying degrees, most of us engage in this habit, much to our own detriment. When you immediately dive in and bring the conversation back toward you, you can subtly minimize the joy that person has in sharing, and in doing so, create distance between yourself and others. Everyone loses.
Posted on: Sat, 10 Jan 2015 20:02:02 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015