I have just invented Beige Tuesday. It takes place every Tuesday. Stupid consumerist human sheep are not allowed to attend Beige Tuesday...Apparently next year the greetings card companies are introducing a range of Happy Black Friday cards. These will be placed alongside Uncle Day cards. Anyone with a ring in their nose and a brain the size of a cherry tomato can easily be led to the appropriate place on the rack by none too subtle supermarket bosses and media moguls. (They are easily identified by hand-rubbing actions or expressions of satisfction at the gullibility of people who need a more rounded education). Ooh, ooh...its Black Friday...I must run to the retailers and buy stuff...its an important day to buy stuff...HEY everybody...Black Friday...the stupid economy predicated on house prices and buying stuff means that I need to rush out like a twat and join a massive scrum of people buying stuff...I can get a digital twerk-prodder for £9.99 instead of £12.99...Morrisco have got Talking Action Barbie for half price and a bag of oranges with FIVE PENCE OFF. Oh and if any group of clever people invent any more big days or import them from America as branded concepts, you can be sure that Ill be there with my gob wide open, desperately searching for a hook to swallow.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Nov 2014 07:23:35 +0000
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