I have my own feelings about what has taken place this last week. Not just over the weekend either. I have learned through the years that family is not just the ones that have your same bloodline, who you married into, but it is also the people that you want in your life as much as they want to be in yours. For years I have learned to except the fact that my family,relatives as i like to call them, had not excepted me or my kids or my brothers as family for years. No matter how justified they might have been at the time they cut us off. Some are justifiable, others are not. Nobody had ever thought about how that would make my parents feel. For years, my parents has had to deal with the fact that someone is always deneying my mother and father by not excepting one kid,or even all at this point, into a family function. When will this cycle end? Kultur did I know that when I spoke about how I would feel if I was in my parents shoes, I would actually be dead on. My dad opened up to me the other night. I was shocked too hear a lot of what came out of his mouth. To those who actually know my dad, he never opens up. He always puts other peoples feelings before his own. I remember at one time telling my dad, how can you go over there?, why? When you know all of it are lies. Sponge of the BS as I refer to it and still comes back and haunts me to this day. I have also learned to let go and forgive the ones that did wrong to me many years ago. I have also forgiven myself for the hurt I had caused other people. As years go by I have seen the difference in the way that WE (my dads family) have been treated to this very day. So when I said to someone the other day, You dont just have to look at the small picture, look at the greater picture, in order to understand the depths of my parents rage, hurt, and emotions in general to be acknowledge why it became so blown up. Until others are willing to look at that picture, I fear that not even time will mend things. Tinge will make it worse. My parents words I cannot seem to get out of my head. My mom is in the hospital, my dad is headed there. The worse part for me is that most people would have their brothers or sisters to help them through all of this, I dont. I say it openly, I cannot handle this one alone.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 16:03:06 +0000
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