I have nothing against exercise or bike riding but after the 4th crossing of swords with deranged men in tights who think bikes come before pedestrians, children and push chairs on pavements I came across this little ditty that just about sum them up... When Im riding down the pavement in my skin-tight lycra shorts, weaving around pedestrians I have such happy thoughts. I never stop at traffic lights and whats a one-way street? Pelican crossings are for whimps as I shout at those I meet. In my little wedge shaped helmet to protect my empty head, with my brains firmly on my saddle people fear Ill knock them dead. Ive no licence or insurance and of course I pay no tax, I rely on a speedy getaway to cover up my tracks. Im the modern urban cyclist so I know I own the road, and Im proud that Im too selfish to use the highway code. Im a self styled eco-warrior and I know I am holier than you, so step aside you idiots theres an angel coming through...
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 13:11:47 +0000
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