I have to ask this question. Is there anyone else who stares at their update status wanting to share their inner most feelings and questions about life? Do u find yourself wanting to ask the world if they feel just as confused as you do about what is really important compared to what you personally believe is important? I use to think I had the correct answer for life. I believed you shouldnt live blind to others sufferings, that you shouldnt forget where you came from, that when your life was done you did something of meaning for someone other then someone you loved. I believed that falling in line and being ordinary was wrong, that just concerning yourself with your personal well being wasnt right. That you take care of your family and not worry about the world was wrong. Ive always believed the world was missing the point, and I had the answer. I believed you didnt ignore the suffering, that you believe in doing more good then bad, that if you fall short or fail you ask for forgiveness, keep pushing on, but never quit on what you believe in. Im at a point where I think all of that is wrong. The first is believing I had the arrogance of knowing the answers to life. The second is that I should pass it on to my children, the third is facing I may be wrong, and the fourth is how you find faith in a GOD who has let you down when you begged him for answers? When I first realized these feelings I thought Wow, Ive humbled myself enough to seek a greater truth, but then as you seek it, the answers do not satisfy you the same way your own vision on life does. Yet you know deep down something you believe, something you stand for is entirely out of balance. For me that is a terrible burden. How do you continue living the way you think is right, when deep down you believe there is a better way, but you cant find it? I keep coming back to prayer, yet everything I see in the evil of life defeats those feelings. I just cant trust in a faith that doesnt make certain those I love are 100% protected from this worlds evil. I feel like I would rather continue to teach my family that you live your life not trusting someone else to write your vision of life. All I really know is something is wrong. My heart tells me more then ever that I am wrong, that I am missing something that will make me feel with confidence that what I believe, what I stand for, what I pass down to my children is the right answer to live a life to be proud of. Am I crazy?
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 07:27:22 +0000
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