I have to be brutally honest. I dont even know who I am, I guess you could say thats a bad thing, but I dont think so. I think it means that Im on this adventure we call life, and Im still learning and still growing. I feel like were all still learning and growing until we reach the pinnacle, and if youre not learning and growing, then youre wasting potential by ignorance and dying. Its extremely hard to describe myself, Im kind of like a chameleon on the evolutionary enterprise. I seem to blend in well and adapt to most situations. A lot of people look past me at first glance, because they just see something ordinary, or if anything at all because I can stay hidden, like a ghost. It takes a special person to notice me, because they have to look deeper, to see that Im unique, and then I jump out and grab their attention, exactly like a ghost would, if it appeared in front of you and touched your lips. Ive found love, and Ive been a fool Fallen out of love, Ive been faithful, and Ive been faithless. Ive danced with devils, only to be lifted up by angels. Ive broken hearts leaving them puzzled so I could piece them back together, and karma came back around leaving me empty inside a viscous circle. I believe in magic, I believe in God, I believe we have a conscious that was designed to be judged based upon our moral decisions. I do not think any of this is meaningless, in fact what youre doing today is the most important thing you will ever do in your entire life. You have to make each second, each breath count, to touch the spirit of others, you have to love them. They dont have to love you back, but you have to love them unconditionally. I believe the worst thing you could do for humanity, is condemn a person in your own mind into eternal damnation, youre creating your own prison of guilt, regret, and fear. The underlying structure of this universe is built upon positive and negative forces. This world, the one we cant see is the fuzz caught up in the middle of those two forces and we are all each individually caught up in a struggle to do whats right and wrong, to love or hate, to forgive or forsake, to cherish or abuse, to give life, or give death. And so I ask myself a question. How do we get out of the circle, how do we elevate ourselves? You see where this is going? Were all stuck in an endless abyss at the heart of a circle, that keeps going on and on forever and ever, and the only way out is through salvation through acts of kindness, true love, mercy, and for asking for forgiveness for our own imperfections. First, you have to fall through the abyss so it can show you the horrors that you have so ignorantly or knowingly caused throughout the universe, because you have spread negativity. Second, you have to listen as the angel guides you to redemption. If you do not listen, you will forever continue your downward spiral. Third, you have to realize the shame of yourself, and be okay with it. Quit fighting your own demons, you cannot eradicate them, they will always get the best of you. Why? Well you created them, there in your image, they are you. Fourth, you must pray, and I mean pray hard for salvation. Not your salvation, do not pray for your salvation. Why? Because its an of selfishness. You couldnt ask for it when you were about to die, why should you deserve it after youre welcomed to reality? Fifth, Ask God to forgive everyone and every thing. This was knowledge that I had received almost a year ago, from a traumatic experience. I believe I was spared to come back and share this with all of you. I have waited almost a full year to contemplate this and piece it all together. I thought and thought, and I figured the time was right to explain. If I didnt let you know, before I left this world, there might not be no second chances for me. Time table of events that had taken place after my NDE. 1. A few weeks later, I got to see my children for the first time in 8 months, and I got to spend 8 months with them every single day to make up for it. 2. I repaired broken friendships and seen family members start to heal both mentally and physically, especially my brother. 3. In September I was called up for a job offer, for a loader position at the sand mines 14 minutes away from home, after being without a job for over a year. That day I was walking into the living room to pick up the phone, and start calling fast foods places because mom and dad needed some help, but thats when my Brad called me up and dad handed me the phone. One second away from giving up after praying day after day, night after night for a good paying job so I could provide for my children. Dont lose faith Chris 4. I started work and bought my own tools, to be the one of the best damn workers Southern Ohio Sands ever seen. I showed up for work early every night with a smile, and have dedicated myself to my craft. I fell in love with my job, like I did Vanessa years ago. Whether it be fixing Hydrosizers, to running the loader, or the Law, to shoveling tail pullies, and smashing heavy rocks on the grizzly. The only difference between then and now, is I wont fail this time. 5. With all of the hard work, I was putting in and showing up on time, as well as respecting the equipment and my co-workers. I prayed and prayed every night over sometime in the course of the shift for 2 months, for my brother to get a job. So I put in a good word for him, because hes one of the most talented people I know, and I love him dearly. 6. We waited and waited around for months and I just kept on praying for about 20 minutes of true hard paying asking God to forgive everyone and everything that has ever lived, and to help my brother out. Not one of those 30 to 60 second, little prayers that most people do, when they have a bad day, or wishing someone better. I believed that this would pull through for him, I knew God would answer eventually. I kept the faith. 7. I guess a few weeks ago my brother was going through a rough time after dropping off his daughter, because he said he wasnt going to be able to buy her Christmas this year. Two days ago my little brother started working, in the dryer plant at Southern Ohio Sands. I work at the wash plant, I seen him tonight hes done already fit in. Now Ray Ray can have Christmas from her daddy this year. Maybe you dont believe in miracles, but I do, because its a miracle we even exist in the first place. You do realize, that all of this salvation, damnation talk, that Ive been talking about, really amounts to are opposite forces inside of the circle? God Bless. Sincerely, Forgive them for they do not know. Love, Chris
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 21:34:28 +0000
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