I have to be honest as the end of Tjs chemo is approaching I have mixed emotions. Of course, I want him to be done with chemo and in remission but at the same time I feel safe right now. Like he is being protected and watched so closely that nothing will go unnoticed. Its strange because I want to be done so bad and at the same time I am so afraid for him to be done with treatment. This is a extremely emotional journey to be on. I feel like a emotional wreck constantly. Its so easy to focus on the negative and what ifs... I wake up sometimes (probably once a week) from dreams of his cancer returning- it haunts me... most the time I cry and just watch him sleep and think about how thankful I am to have him here with me still. How blessed we are to have caught his cancer so early on. Its amazing really. We have so much to be thankful for- I honestly shouldnt complain about this trial but I am human and I am a mom and I am scared for my sons future.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 00:07:00 +0000
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