I have tried, mightily, to become a better, kinder, gentler person. Honestly. But the Lord keeps sending people my way who get in the way of my gradual transformation to St Francis of Assisihood. These people can generally be classed in two separate groups: Idiots, and pompous idiots. The latter class can generally be found in a Mercedes Benz. I was walking Mr Smith at Union Point, a local park in New Bern, and was on my way back to my car, when a Mercedes drove by me, slowed and drifted over to the curb; the passenger side window came down. This happens a lot, actually; people comment on Mr Smith, my canine rock star, quite often. The man yelled out, Do you know where the doggie bags are? New Bern makes these available in all their parks: a pole with a wooden housing in which is a roll of dark green plastic bags to use for your dogs poop. As it happened, one such dispenser was immediately in front of me, next to my parked car, in fact. I nodded and pointed to it. Theres one about a hundred feet ahead, I said, figuring the guy needed one. But his next question was: Did you use one? I thought Id misheard him, so I asked him to repeat the question. Did you use one when you walked your dog today? And then it dawned on me that he was checking up on me, Why do you ask? Im a concerned citizen of New Bern, and I like to make sure that youre not leaving dog poop in the park. Yeah. Thats what he said. At this point I had three options: 1. Ignore him and move on. 2. Assure him that I had, indeed, used a bag. 3. Engage in dialogue. I dont know why, but I seem to always choose option 3. Im a concerned citizen too. Im concerned someone is going to break your face sometime soon. Actually, I used a few more words than that. Those who know me best can fill them in. Lord, why do you do this to me? Im trying to be good, and you keep sending temptation my way. Thats not quite cricket, you know. And why do they always seem to be driving a Mercedes?
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 13:41:10 +0000
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