I have written articles and posts here about this topic ad nauseam ... but let me simplify it AGAIN. Whenever I meet someone who appreciates my work I more often than not get asked the same question in different variations. The gist of it simply being whether I am gay - and if I am - am I ashamed to admit it. I understand that gay people have been the arbiters of pop culture for decades. They influence fashion and societal extravagance and all that, plus most openly gay men have a penchant to big personalities and take over the room everywhere they go. Nothing wrong with that and I guess that is why straight people have this embedded image and perception of what gay looks and sounds like. Unfortunately, the fact that people are different, even the gay ones, gets lost in the glitter. Believe you me, I have no qualms about who I am or who I date. I have been fortunate enough to have been raised by a mother (RIP mom) who always allowed me to be me. Because of that I was able to assert my personality and who I am as a person without trying to prove or hide anything about myself. Even growing up in rural Northwest I have never felt the need to be part of chorus. Everyone who knows me from back home will tell you that I have always been this guy that you guys now know. I have never had to put on a performance to fit in or stand out. I know who I am but I choose not be be boxed into any label, be it gay, straight, black or whatever. Im have a kaleidescope of interests that if you put me in any box I wont fit. There is nothing typical about me. This is why I always assert my individuality. Simply put for me to say to someone yes or no when they ask me if I am gay does nothing for the kind of person that I am. I am Phil Mphela first. I am accountable to ME first before I can seek validation from another person by allowing them to label me so they can feel comfortable in my space. Thats their cross to carry not mine.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 12:29:56 +0000
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