I have yet to meet a birthmother who did not want her child. Every mother wants her child - deeply and without reservation. While she may not want the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy, the love for the child is always present. Even if she is addicted, outwardly defensive, or seemingly detached - she still, somewhere in her heart, wants and loves that child. It is so difficult for many us to even consider allowing someone else to have something that we love. As a society, we have a hard time donating replaceable material items such as clothing, vehicles, or money. Society justifies its misunderstanding of unselfish acts of sacrifice prompted by the Holy Spirit by saying, well, that person probably didnt want it anyway. Consequently, when a mother chooses adoption, society assumes that the child was unwanted or unloved because we may not understand a heart so unselfish. I once worked with a teen mother who chose adoption. She came to every appointment crying because people at school made fun of her and even stopped talking to her because she didnt even want her baby. She would hold her pregnant belly and feel that little baby kick as she cried. His kicking was the only thing that seemed to help stop the tears. Referring to adopted children as unwanted is shame inducing. This shame is often enough for the woman to disregard adoption in order to avoid being told you didnt even want your baby by those in her life and in society. If we want adoption to become a more realistic choice for more women, we need to start by acknowledging how hard it is for women to make the decision to let their heart walk outside of their body. We need to start using language that acknowledges that every child is wanted - from the very beginning - by not only adoptive couple, but also by the mother that carried that child right under her heart for 9 months. We need to honor the truth that adoption is the miraculous fruit of a spirit so touched by God that ones own pain takes a backseat to the love that birthmother feels for the child.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 16:08:04 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015