I havent changed my mind. I still intend a vacation from Facebook. But I want to share that its going well. And What being scared of technology did was to release me as I was in now long past days. I can feel like fenced in by the world, and the ways that so many other people see as a good response, are ways that give the result of BURYING my TALENT when I lean even slight in those directions. Remembering Noah is an example of a right direction for me. And I had a real life experience of the Noah potential can be activated. I was on our patio, with my mom, a young boy gently dropped a kitten in the dry irrigation ditch behind our back yard, turned and walked sadly away. My mom said, so sad, he was likely told it was his job to get rid of an unwanted kitten. And she turned her back and walked into the house. I cared not at all WHY she behaved as she did, why she decided not to excercise her powers. She made the clear CHOICE to let a kitten die a horrible death, to let a kitten be tortured, in the heat of Arizona sun. no water. Her thinking may have been similar to, It was the decision of a young boys parent. The responsibility laid with them. I could not have disagreed more. Even SHE managed to recognize the likelyhood, that this family didnt know that the field had been given a rest, the crop workers, had gone, no more watering. So she KNEW what the family hadnt known. She had the RESPONSIBILITY of her knowledge. They had not knowingly Consigned a kitten to a torturous death, but she HAD. And my bet was that she thought that I would accept her dispicable act as a model of the way I should think and behave. She did succeed if she thought I would recognize that she had a higher status than I did. That She had the power to force me to suffer knowing about a kittens assignment to hell. But I had another parent with higher status than hers. And GOD had foreseen, and God had prepared. As I was sitting there trying to see something I could do without her help, I saw an orange crate. It was partly hidden, beneath a branch of one of the large shrubs, growing on our side of the irrigation ditch. I would years later recognize that as an example of what some Christians taught was PROVISION. If I accept as a real possibility that God can predict a prayer, not said, before the situation has occurred that would prompt the strong wish that some see as valid FORM of prayer. PROVISION was made to answer my strong wish to have THE POWER to accept the responsibility that my mother, at that time in her life, didnt have faith that it wasnt foolishness to even seriously consider accepting. I uderstood the instant I saw the abandoned orange crate. I ran and grabbed it. and clutching it, I jumped into the ditch, then ran with it into the field, the corn had been gathered, the stalks were barren. I waded in, seeking a safe place to shelter a kitten, and off to one side so noone in our house would see my comings & goings, I needed a collar, decided to make one. First, go get the kitten. I crawled the last several feet to the ditch in case my mom was watching. I paused to look and listen before I made the grab. I HAD HIM, I got down on my knees and stayed down low, with my treasure. He was a male tiger, orange. Finally, we were SAFE. I could hold him close and promise him I needed to hide and leave him for a little while, but I would return with milk and food, I found a small screw on cap jar, a flannel shirt, and grabbed some of little brothers plastic coated craft wires. I made the collar in the field while he was busy lapping up his milk from the small and shallow dessert dish Id hidden under my shirt . The crate became an enormously important symbol for me. The CRATE had been the essential MEANS to POSSESS the field. In the same that a boat with some sort of plastc sheet jerry rigged to a pole, to create a tent, can make a lake a possessable territory. The crate shelter tiger, and he understood, respected and obeyed my instruction to STAY QUIETLY in the crate, which I turned upside down to completely cover him. and the crate was deep in a central area of the yellow corn stalk. It wasnt visable unless I was nearly on top of it. When he was bigger, I tied a string to his collar and the crate so he could be outside in the corn, and turned the crate on its side, with his sleep shirt in it. Its a leap from comparing the crate in a fallow cornfield to association with Noahs ARK, but I make that leap. Thats a form of talent, its also a means to distinquish a style. It can work as an EXAMPLE of the right direction for me to move in, WHEN I seek a LARGE change, a change great enough to need a LARGE SPACE made for it. But I DIDNT predict that I would NEED to be very scared, OR the thing that scared me would HAVE TO be so large and so everywhere in rule that Id end up like THROWN back, and farther back, all the way back to age 13, to remembering the God who provided the crate, so I could give to a kitten the wealth of an entire field and the bounty of grasshoppers to practice on, and an endless banquet of mice to catch, when I removed the collar, as he no longer needed the crate or me.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Mar 2014 03:23:37 +0000
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