I havent posted in a while due to the underlying stuff thats going on. But, I feel the need to update everyone on our a anniversary outing on Thursday. On October 16th Aj and I celebrated 4 years of marriage. Although it has been anything of a typical marriage I have only grown to love him more and more. On Thursday I spent the whole morning and afternoon with aj. It was so nice being able to actually sit and chat and enjoy each others company. We went to lunch at Bob Evens - we both agreed on OutBack (mostly bc I had a gift card there) but they didnt open until 4. Aj destroyed his lunch and stole 1/2 of mine :) On our way back to the hospital Aj asked if we could stop at a store. After asking a few questions about why? He said I dont know if Ill be around to see Dominick open gifts for Christmas and I want to make sure he knows daddy loves him. I couldnt say no to that. (God willing he is healthy but, I understand his wishes). Although we have no extra money to do this - I couldnt tell him no. I gave him a budget of $30 and he was SO excited. He started to fill the cart with all kinds of toys and stuffed animals. I reminded him of his budget and he started putting items back. We went to the check out and his total was $32 and some change. He looked at the cashier and said my wife is broke bc of my stupid brain tumor, I wanted to get my son a few gifts for Christmas bc I may not see him. I was crying and the cashier was crying. Aj gave the lady the $30 and we walked out. To say it breaks my heart Is putting it lightly. To have him so far away sucks. But, no one knows what it was like in our home. The constant unknowing of an outrageous fit or some type of outburst and running away from me. It hurts so bad to not have him close by. I had no choice for everyones safety. He has 24/7 care at the care center hes at now, and he has learned to except it. I know he doesnt like it but, its our only hope. Aj has grown to understand he needs someone with him all the time for his safety and thats a must. He is doing much better but, I honesty believe its bc of the routine and the structure of his current arrangement. The future is unsure (as it has always been) but, I have faith in God that the right things will happen. Aj is an amazing man and will always be my husband regardless. Ive been there since day one of all this and will always be there for him. Dominick is one lucky kid to have such an amazing daddy. I pray dominick will be able to understand just how amazing his daddy is. Aj always loved holding dominick and being his da da he loved him so much and the look on Ajs face (and Dominicks face) when they see each other is priceless. Aj is an amazing daddy to our son and I will do my very best to keep that bond. That was always very important to him and I promised to do my part. :) Happy anniversary love.
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 02:42:11 +0000