I held your dog today and as I watched his eyes search for you, my heart snapped in two. For a moment he must have thought he heard your voice as he lifted his head to see if your were here and his tail began to wag, but alas one more time he was disappointed. He laid his head back down, defeated and I watched so helplessly through my own tears, he slowly begin to close his eyes. I reached down to caress his beautiful black fur and I whispered to him what a handsome boy he was and let him know how much he had touched my life and my heart. As I kissed his wet nose I noticed his eyes stare back at mine and for an instant, as our eyes met, and I saw in them everything that was good, kind, forgiving and loving in the world. He placed his paw in my hand and as he looked at the tears streaming down my face. I told him what a good boy he was and how much his being here these 5 years mattered and, no matter what, he was truly loved and appreciated. I swear I saw a wee bit of a smile as he slowly closed his eyes, sighed and slipped away in my arms. Yes, I held your dog today because you could not find it in your heart to be with him in his hour of need and yet somehow even in the end, it was so obvious how much he loved you and needed you by his side yet even though you let him down, he forgave you. He did not die alone or in vain and before he left this world he knew he was special and most importantly, he knew he was loved. I wonder if your mind and your heart is troubled as you struggle with the decision you made and how long you will be tortured with sleepless nights as you ponder, worry and question the choices you have made for your best friend and wonder how you will ever be able to forgive yourself. Yes, I held your best friend in my arms today as he passed peacefully because, unlike you, he did not die wondering. He was loved. RIP Vladimir. Its a sad night at my house tonight. With all the foster wins, you have to accept you will get a foster fail. Not that I failed - no, the woman who gave this poor soul up failed him. But until the end, he had an amazing life here, and he died peacefully in the arms that loved him. My tears flow for you tonight Vlad. :(
Posted on: Tue, 08 Jul 2014 05:04:05 +0000
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