I just cant get over how I am blindsided with fatigue. I can go to bed at 9 or 10:30, wake up at 1:00 pm, sometimes 4 pm, do coffee and my shower and still have no reserve. Right back to sleep. In my rocker. I have things I need to do, like backed up laundry, online follow-ups and room by room spring cleaning. The house is not filthy by any means, I just need to hit long neglected deeper areas. The sun is shining steadily brighter to show dust and cobwebs. I am very grateful for my Bratchers severance that was not robbed from by my ex. Bratchers did their best to let me go as well off as they could and still protect their end. I would never back lash at Mr. Bratcher. I will, however, be facing whatever consequences that may arise from FSD eventually. I pray for a good attorney because I have no ability to work for him anymore. Besides he wouldnt let me work back when I wanted to. Perhaps I will end up doing time for it. If I had absolutely any more blood for him to draw, I would certainly keep on pushing for my kids sake. They are the ones that end up paying for it in the end. With my severance I have been blessed to be able to spend a half an hour every other day preparing excellent gluten free meals for me and my guys. Giving gluten-free a try. Nonetheless my cooking rocks and I am challenged to keep up with my guys appetites for home cooking. Glad that I can still do something of value, though very short-lived. Just beyond empty energy wise. So crazy, my body keeps on going slower and slower. It truly is shocking. Im drinking lots of good water. I know that my adrenals were shot way back when I began supplementing with energy drinks and amino acid supplements. I knew there was something wrong way back then. Coffee and energy drinks no longer have any effect. They helped me get through back when I was taking Pa to his VA appointments. Not anymore. I can drink coffee or a monster and fall right back to sleep. I am sooo sorry to all of my work peeps. There is no way to express that adequately here. I miss you all soo much!! Theres no way to adequately express that. . . (Redundant). . . . .Ugghh!!! . . . . . . I sometimes wish that I had been loser enough to steal something. Then maybe it would be easier to get over you all. Approx two weeks before I was asked to exit the building (was invited to continue shopping there btw) Mr. Bratcher Sr. came up to my window with four one dollar bills folded up. I know this was unrelated but it still messed with me. He said, This money was found on the floor back by dairy. I put it in the safe like I would any other time. I did accept a gratuity once from my black neighbor down the road who insisted after I loaded up lots of moving boxes for him. And that one lady who always gave Robert and I a dollar when she won a scratcher ticket. She sadly has passed recently. I need to be home yes. Yet you all were my family. Some thought there was no team there, but I saw one. Ok. I need to get off that trail because. . . . My heart is just breaking again. Just what I need. I cant refrain from emotion. . . . . Like a similar post I made recently, if it were just in my head I could have overcome with discipline long ago. My body has let me and my integrity down. It wasnt all that long ago that I prided myself on only missing work if I had a fever. And two years ago Cristina, Robert, and I had the same severe fever that Diana had and I only missed half a day. That was my norm. This past year is not an accurate reflection of the well disiplined me. That is another grief in itself. My body has shut down. Theres no way to get you all back. Im forever on the naughty list and sure there are remarks made in my absence that lack true understanding. God bless Amy. I know she is smarter than a whip to do even better than I. She is good people and shes been fighting the good fight for a long time. God bless you all, my work peeps. Off to bed again. It comes around so quickly now. The days remain short
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 04:59:36 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015