I just had the most direct, vivid, profound, life summation dream of my life...4 hours long, everything symbolic and yet blatantly obvious. We live in multiple realities without knowing it, and most of the time, in order to go back to where you first began, you need to unlock the meaning of the one you are currently in. The only person that ever needs to know is you, for the more people you bring into your mind, the more scattered and unfocused you become. I was just taken on a subconscious roller coaster, depicting what my life is in a nutshell. My subconscious forced me into another reality, a sub reality really, where I had to familiarize myself with its customs and the people I had surrounding me in it. Everything was flipped from the first dream reality I was in. In the sub reality, I was able to have prior knowledge to people that for some reason hadnt met me yet. I suppose it was to make a better first impression, with the person I am now as opposed to who I was. At first, I was married to a woman whos beauty was beyond comprehension. We lived a full life where wealth came easy and friends were aplenty. 10 children shared between us, and thousands of homes linked with ours was the image I had in my mind as things took an interesting turn. I was thrown together with my children and shown that they had a stronger sense of honor and maturity about them. Qualities that feel all too familiar for myself, but somewhere along the line I have lost them, but they were not out of reach. *Cue epiphany, transition back to the beginning of this sub reality* I look at my friends, the lack of family I have, the stores which are all run by robots and supply flavored gruel as the lie in nutrition. I meet the woman who I believe I should spend the rest of my life with. The only downside is that with her vanity, she is quite dull and cannot sting more than a sentence together at a time without sounding like a complete ditz. So we try this marriage to see just how well things will work out, and for a long while they do, until things become bland and mundane. Her intelligence seems to consistently drop year by year. Her vanity still remains, and yet, I feel the deepest depression and sadness sweep over me, and again, I return to the beginning of this sub reality. Things continue as they have previously, all though a marriage is never brought up, at least at that point. I meet another lovely woman, this time adorned with a smile and more subtle features. A face in the crowd one might say. She is beautiful, but in her own unique way, and yet, her mind is vast and turbulent, things are constantly fighting to be released. The most brilliant things as well...Nobel Prize worthy inquiry for sure. I spend my days with the both of them and feel that my love and adoration for vanity has been trumped by that of the scholar. A mess ensues where a few of those close friends and I boogie on down, crashing through anything that needed to be destroyed. Anything that resembled things in my original realitys past. I broke through walls driving an old school Mustang, black with chrome trim. I pummel everything on my way to the church, where I must say, things got a bit hot. For once I wasnt afraid of the decision I had made nor was I afraid of the reaction I was to receive. I didnt give a bloody damn one way or another. I walk up to the both of them, Vanity and Scholar. I explain my reasons for letting Vanity go, and yet, there was no hate, no remorse. I leave her to fade away, out of my life, as I take Scholars hand and proceed to the altar. A surprise quiet wedding to be shared only between us. As the ceremonial cakes manifested from thin air, a smile which started on my cheek, and ended on hers was formed. A life of happiness and longevity shall soon follow. With that moment, I was then able to awaken my mind, and then my body, to everything else around me. I had noticed that my arms had become numb since I was now in a very tight ball, laying sideways on my bed. It was then that I realized that I wont be able to resume my slumber without first retelling the tale, and so here I sat for an hour, typing, thinking, remembering. I feel it was a realization I needed to have, something my ego mind would never wish to discuss on its own. My only question throughout the whole ordeal would be this...If I know that vanity typically is only skin deep and hardly ever more, while one with a brilliant mind is often the better suitor, why would those two elements present themselves in a chaotic sense? To appear as my Yin and my Yang? Where both are separate from one another, yet both make the whole, and yet still, elements from either one can be possessed in the other? The multiple realities thing was really interesting, for any time I attempted to mention exactly what I was experiencing, I would hemorrhage in my mind and bleed through my ears, coming ever closer to the edge of severe unconsciousness. In order to relate others with my experience, I had to articulate my words and phrases in such a way, so that the idea would hover over the person and if they caught on, then we were indeed able to share, but in code. Also, I have to wonder about the whole my friends not recognizing me, yet I know all about them thing. I wonder if it was some sort of representation corresponding to the fact that many of my friends have fallen out of touch with me, and so talking to them again is almost talking to them for the first time all over again. A re-introduction of sorts if you will. Hmmmmm...All in all, I dont know. Maybe my mind just really wanted to ramble and so it held me hostage, offering sleep for my compliance. If you actually read this far, I will give you a cookie the next time I see you.
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 09:38:22 +0000
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