I just left Safeway. While perusing produce, I got my butt grabbed and hands came around my waist and caressed my middle and this very smooth, sultry voice said you can squeeze my fruit when we get home... I slowly put down the tomatoes and said well, that doesnt sound too unpleasant, but Id like to know your name first, at the very least. And this poor guy freaks out and whipd around in front of me and his eyes get HUGE and he starts sputtering about how I look just like his husband and just apologizing profusely. And I was laughing so hard, and his husband came around the corner and holy hell. We could be brothers. We are both wearing cargo shorts and navy tees, both with close cropped hair cuts, both stalky, bulky builds, both brown hair and oddly similar eyebrows. And this poor guy is freaking out and trying to explain to both of us about how he made this mistake and he just stops mid sentence and goes please tell me youre gay. At least please be gay!? And I laughed and said no, but hey man....you clearly have great taste. And Im not opposed to an ego stroking. The husband laughed and they both shook my hand. And we talked for a bit. Turns out they are newly married. Their names are Max and Dean, and they just moved from TN. I told them if they wanted to friend me on facebook, and Id love to have them over for dinner some time. Apparently its odd to be friendly after getting felt up by a stranger. They were shocked. Im still chuckling.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Sep 2014 01:54:09 +0000
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