I just told my mother-in-love that I wasnt going to share this story, but its too good not to, so here goes... Oh and you might not want to be eating or drinking anything as you read this because you will spit it out. Youve been warned. Ok so, I was just sitting on our front steps with the boys. We were saying goodbye to my brother and a close family friend who came by for a visit. All was tranquil as the boys started rattling off all of the things they saw outside. Plane. Bird. Tree. Car. And then out of nowhere, a bumble bee the size of a Susan B. Anthony dollar started buzzing around us! Let me back track a bit and let yall know that I am TERRIFIED of bugs. TERRIFIED! And bump all that theyre not thinking about me-Im much bigger than them-irrational fear mess. They scare the bejeezus out of me and thats that. So as soon as dude made his appearance, I screamed, grabbed by children by whatever limb was available and hightailed my booty in the house. I even slammed the door. Thank you very much. Hmph. Damn bugs! I then proceeded to go to my bathroom as nature called (number one...though this story wouldve been a heck of a lot funnier if it was number two...wait for it). As they normally do, the boys followed me into the bathroom. No biggie. Im their Momma. Plus no one else was home, so follow me around they do. As I was, lets say, releasing some pressure, I heard a buzzing in my ear. Then the followed happened in the next 6.7 seconds: I swatted the buzzing monstrosity off of my SHOULDER!! I SCREAMED FOR MY LIFE!!!! Finished the wipe that I was in the middle of. Knocked Bryce down right on his booty as I jumped up off of the throne. Pulled up my drawers. Snatched up both Bryce and Kaden, again by whatever limb was available and ran the eff out of that bathroom!!!! Did you hear me say that that thing had been on my shoulder the entire time!?!? WTF!!! Yeah, that just happened. Im done. I am utterly and completely done. If ever I needed a Toblerone bar and a very strong drink, it is right now. Oh and the flying demon is safely locked away in my bathroom awaiting its impending execution by the man of the house the SECOND he gets home. I cant make this stuff up folks. We really do need our own show. : O
Posted on: Fri, 01 Aug 2014 01:05:24 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015