I just woke up today just feeling shitty. Sometimes we are just powerless against our disorders and addictions we gotta fight. its a war against ourselves and all the information and experiences we take in that add to our disease. I know I over compensate and self-medicate fighting depression by constantly trying to be better at what I do and working hard ….....but never being truly satisfied and hard on myself seems to fuel that medication, that seems to work for me, but what happens when you cant do that anymore? Maybe thats what happened to Robin he had everything he ever wanted from what it seems, worked very hard but still it didnt change his depression. Its a concept that is hard to wrap your brain around. Its not like I knew Robin Williams but I am really effected by his death it seems symbolic to severity of mental disorders. Ive gone through suicide several times this past year with friends, so I know this is very serious stuff. Ive watched myself, friends and family over the past years get pissed at the person who have killed themselves, make- up excuses, judge them for leaving behind loved ones and even believe that they have been planing strategically as if its an offense against them or a weak choice. And for good reason that we would have that reaction. But the more it seems and the more I see this happen, It just seems that it goes beyond those specific feelings of selfishness. Not to suggest that my friends deaths are any less then Robin Williams but they did have a a lot less support and were very alone in their struggle, did not get help or admit to their depression. When the worlds funny man kills himself who had gone through rehabs, talked openly about his depression, several marriages, 3 kids, a legend and seemed to have all the resources to fight the battle and he still lost. Its a hard issue to confront, a very real disease that has nothing to do with tangible thought process and has nothing to do with how strong you are at least that is what it seems. This is what Ive learned from his death and what it symbolizes for me. Proof that this is an epidemic. Veteran suicide rate is the highest in history, has killed more soldiers then any actual war we have fought in the last 14 years. This is a disease like Cancer that needs to have very serious treatment.So what does it take for the world to start taking this very seriously in this country, how many people need to die?
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 16:19:26 +0000
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