I kinda like hanging out with myself, but even sometimes that can get me in trouble. It did today (but with a happy ending). True story… It was 6:45am and there I was trying to figure out what reason I could convince myself to stay under my blanket. I turned on the news and the weather lady came up with three: 44 degrees, with a high of only 50, raining, and wind gusts up to 40pmh. All day. But – I had made a promise to my uncle in NJ to come check on him (plus I could fill up for $2.65 a gallon – woo hoo!), and I promised my mother that I would bring her donuts from my favorite bakery. I didn’t want to disappoint either. They’re 83 and soon to be 87 years old respectively and don’t ask for much. Even though brown sugar does melt (), I’d make the sacrifice. I’m a gladiator (in my mind I am many things. Don’t judge me)! So, I hopped in the car, stopped by to see Unc, headed for the bakery and picked up the goodies then head for the Tacony. Now, it was raining pretty hard when I started out, but on the way home, it was coming down in sheets. As I’ve commented before – there are ten things that I do really well and driving is one of them, but this rain thing coupled with the wind and slippery leaves made me slow my roll. On top of it, I had averted being hit on my way over and counted my blessings, so I didn’t want to push the envelope. Oh, and did I mention that my wipers were on their last “swish?” I was born at night, but not last night, and this was no time to play with Mother Nature. It was clear who was in control. I normally have my road dawgette with me, but she had the good sense to sleep in today, so I didn’t have the distraction of our chatter and laughter. Next best thing: music. Not just any music – I needed that “back in the day, sing along even if you don’t know the words, loud, twist your head” music. I connected my iphone to the radio, and heard that familiar beat of Michael Jackson and “You Wanna Be Startin’ Somthin’!” It was on and poppin’! I turned it up and proceeded to JAM up Route 543! “MAMA SAY MAMA SA, MA MA KU SA, MAMA SAY MAMA SA MA MA KU SA; MAMA SAY MAMA SA, MA MA KU SA, MAMA SAY MAMA SA MA MA KU SA…” (Did anyone ever figure out what the heck Mike was talking about??? Anywho..) You can’t do any more than 35mph on that road so I was careful, especially since New Jersey has been the recipient of about $200 courtesy of my doubting that 35mph meant 35mph and not 40, so imagine my surprise when I saw one of their finest roll up behind me and tail me. I had no worries. I was clocking myself so I continued my concert. Then my JAWN (If you’re younger than 40, you have no idea what that word means) came on – “The Way You Make Me Feel!” Man, it was OVER! My head was snapping back and forth and I was banging the beat on the steering wheel singing at the top of my lungs, “THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL – IT REALLY TURNS ME ON – YOU KNOCK ME OFFA MY FEET – MY LONELY DAYS ARE GONE – AIN’T NOBODY’S BUSINESS, AIN”T NOBODY’S BUSINESS BUT ME-AND-MY-BABY’s…” Sirens, flashing lights, po-po on my bumper…I’m like, WT? Then I started to get an attitude like I was being targeted for something. But, I calmed down because I got a good job that I want to keep; pulled over and lowered the window. I didn’t even reach for my paperwork, because I don’t want no problems…ijs. Officer, Sir (as Yogi Bear used to say) jumps out the car and is rushing toward me (gun not drawn, thank you Jesus), and I’m thinking, WT??? (I did cuss – I ain’t gonna lie). Then I see two paramedics pull up behind him (I heard their sirens, but I had NO idea they were on my behalf) jump out of their truck and head to the back of it to pull out the gurney. What the hell is happening here??? WAS MY DAMN CAR ON FIRE??? Lawd, help me… “M’am – you alright?” Dude was all flushed and I’m still not understanding what the drama is. Cars are slowing down and looking and people are coming out of the Wawa. “Yeah, I’m fine. You good?” I immediately knew that was an inappropriate response, but hell – I’m confused. Apparently, one of us is in distress and it ain’t me. “Can you step out of the car and let the paramedics take a look?” “Take a look at what?” I can feel my face frowning up like, what is he TALKING about?! The paramedics walk up and look me over without touching me as I’m leaning against the car, getting very wet, might I add. “M’am – I’ve been following you since you left L&M (the bakery) and it looked like you were having a seizure. I didn’t know if you were epileptic or diabetic, but when I saw your head jerking, I thought I’d better call for help…” I was watching his mouth as he spoke and cracking up on the inside, because he was truly concerned. I was thinking, “man – don’t you know when a sistah’s song come on?” Oh, this is some funny… I had no idea I was throwing down like that - so much for somebody to think that I was sick!Imagine that - pulled over for jamming! I smiled with a thankful look and said, “sir – me and Mike were in concert. I was singing. You know, Michael Jackson…anywho – I’m perfectly fine, and thank you for your concern. I’ll bring it down a notch or two on the rest of the way home. Again – thank you for your concern…” The paramedics (two young men) were CRACKING up and shaking their head! They knew “what time it was” but the officer didn’t have a clue. I love my men and women in blue, but the look of sheer embarrassment was priceless! He just nodded, got back in his car, did a U-turn and made the first left turn he could. I had to laugh until I felt that churning (that comes out of left field, especially when you’re over 50) of a stomach that knows that it ain’t supposed to have no dang donut and coffee unless it is close to a restroom! Wasn’t nothing funny no more as I hightailed over the bridge. I had to turn on John P. Kee – “Lord, Help Me To Hold Out”… Real talk! I said all of that to say, have a good day, FB Fam and don’t forget to laugh at yourself every now and again! In retrospect – I’m glad the officer was cognizant to recognize that something may have been amiss. He was doing his job and thankfully, there was a good outcome. Now I know how I look when I’m looking in other cars and the driver is in a zone – like a nut! And btw – I made it home safely and “in time” if you know what I mean… This “getting old” ain’t for sissies! Ttyl…
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 17:28:10 +0000
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