I knew I would never be successful at being the someone he wanted me to be and in that moment. I knew that marriage would not make it , and that he was my practice husband. In a lot of ways it was easier, because he wanted me to be so completely different than who I was. I knew it would never work. Some things were more subtle and seemed more doable. I want you to be more punctual. I want you to be more organized. I want you to be more spiritual. I want you to drink a little less. I want you to have more vision for your future. All of those things might seem like things worth striving for, and yet, wanting someone to be different demonstrates a lack of acceptance. When you are on the receiving end of someone wanting you to be different, it’s horrible. However, as horrible as it is, you’d be amazed how often someone will try to hammer themselves into a box they were never meant to fit into because someone else wants them to be someone they aren’t. You’d think after my practice marriage ended, I’d have learned that lesson. It took me a little more practice, and I spent years in and out of relationships trying to become the someone that other person would love enough not to leave. Becoming something you aren’t to make someone else happy isn’t growth, it’s mutation. We all know mutation isn’t usually very pretty. On the other hand, there’s evolution. When I met the man I’m currently devoted to, I noticed something in me almost immediately. I noticed I was "up-leveling" (stepping up) my game everywhere I could. I wanted to be a little more organized. I wanted to be a little more engaged. I wanted to be healthier and smarter. I wanted to be more grounded and centered. He never once asked me to be different. In fact, he loved me just the way I was so completely I can honestly say I’d never felt so loved before. However, in the light of his appreciation I felt inspired to be better. I still do. Why? The true measure of a relationship is who you become within it He sees something in me. He’s seen it from the day we met. In fact, the very fact that he sees it, makes it possible. He sees the very best parts of me, almost to the exclusion of the other parts. It’s nothing short of a miracle. He sees the best version of Lisa. It’s one of the greatest gifts anyone has ever given me: a window into my best self – and because he can see it, I want to be it. I want to be the best I can be because of him. I have grown more as a person in the past year. I’ve known of him and in all the years before him. I am constantly inspired to reach for my highest potential, because he sees it AND because he deserves it. Till we all come home, love you to love me.....The Mess
Posted on: Sat, 14 Sep 2013 11:40:25 +0000
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