I know I’m several days early but I’m sort of feral when it comes to traditions so now’s good. Normally I view New Year’s resolutions as kind of a sham. I’ve heard way too many people announce they’ll lose weight, quit smoking, and find love (cynically knowing they won’t follow through) to take this custom seriously. So I haven’t made any resolutions in a really long time. But this year I went through something very hard and came out better for it so I’m inspired to do this, and as my best impression at a nod to tradition I’m doing it here where everyone can (hopefully not) smirk. Mine falls into the finding love category but it’s not what you think. Historically, all of my relationships have been abusive or sick. I believe a big part of the problem is that I’VE been in them but the people I’ve let close have invariably been harmful to me and the cycle of damage/payback was intrinsic. There’s been another cycle in consequence- I lost faith a while back that I could ever have the love I suppose we all crave without taking at least a symbolic beating for it and I’ve carried that brokenness with me like a tool and weapon. This year I’m putting it down. After my most recent (and worst) heartbreak, I’m finished. Not finished with love, just finished trying to work out an old problem with a new person. So this is what I have in mind- I know I’m not the only one who’s gone through this sort of thing and I know that there is so much more to life beyond the blinders of bad relationships. I’m not making any grand announcements about finding a new good love. And you won’t find me marching around making a lot of noise about staying single. I’m not focusing on romantic love at all! I’ve got the incredible good fortune of having a whole bunch of people in my life who ARE kind to me. You make me smile and feel loved. I resolve this year to spend as much time as I can with YOU having fun, being productive and creative together, and not letting any more time get wasted on unhappiness. This is a resolution I know I can keep!
Posted on: Thu, 25 Dec 2014 19:35:45 +0000
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