I know i am writting this story but i have to say this is the best part I ever written so far. If you make time, please do read it. its emotianal but yet enlightining and uplifting. God be the glory series 2 Diary of a crazy in love black woman (Part 31) Dear Diary When Thulani told me about what his mother told Mr. Shongwe and the doctors I got so aggravated. I could not see a reason why she had to cover up for him. She should have told them the truth and I am sure they would have opened a case against him. It seemed like Thulani sensed my confusion, because he began to say “I think my father had some kind of spell over my mother or something, because sometimes my aunt would come for a visit and find my mother bruised all over her face and body, normally would ask her why doesn’t she report him to the police but my sweet mother would always argue, ‘No I won’t do that, I don’t want my children to grow up without their father’, my aunt would then ask “So you want them to grow up without their mother?’ then she would leave her with that question hanging in her mind. “I remember one instance he beat her up so much that she had to stay in bed for three days because she could not walk. I told my aunt about it, she came with her husband, took her to hospital and they forced her to open up a case against him. She reluctantly went to the police station with them to open a case. And on the same day the police brought in my father. He was suppose to go to court a week later, but guess what? On the same week that he was support to stand before the judge, my mother without telling anyone she voluntary went to the police station and dropped the charges against my dad.” Why she did that? I asked myself, then suddenly I remembered how many women go through instances like this one and if they are asked why. They always say something like this “I love him and I know he loves me too” “he is a sweet person, it’s just that I upset him at times” “it’s my fault that’s why he beats me up, I make him angry, you know”. These and more are always the excuses the victims usually give. And every time I hear someone saying that I can feel my kettle starting to boil, sometimes I feel like beating a crap out of them and hammer some sense in * excuse me for my French*. It’s just that I get so frustrated when a person is playing dumb or lying to herself. I can’t get it why some women do that to themselves and they children. Does someone have to close your eyes with a fist to prove that he loves you? I think only a person who does not know what true love is thinks that. And I can bet you that person never read 1 Corinthians 13 which speaks about what love is and what it does and what it does not. According to God’s word “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Neverthless I was reading an article few years ago about women murdered by their partners and according to the report in that year 1181 women were murdered by an intimate partner. Which means an average of three women were killed every day. Tell me why some women choose to remain quiet while we are dying like this, dying like flies? Thulani interrupted my thinking when he added “I suppose she thought he will love her more, maybe she thought he will stop hitting her but as the great prophet Jeremiah asked “Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?....”. Instead things got worse, he warned my mother that if my aunt or her husband put their feet at his house he was going to shoot them and if they did not take the warning he was really going to kill him; it was now obvious to everyone that my father was crazy, but my dear mother stayed anyhow. You see I grew up under such conditions seeing my mother being physically abused and my father almost every day drunk. I became a rebellious, I did not do well in school – drop out, joined a wrong crew. My evil father chased me out of the house, he told me that he won’t have junkie and thief living under his roof but he forgot that an apple does not fall far away from the tree. I started making excuses for myself to justify my crooked ways, I would often say “I am my father’s son – I am the product of his deeds” “You see that is the biggest mistake every person makes, is playing the blame shifting game or claiming they are the product of their environment, instead of taking responsibility of their lives. I have met people with worse childhood than mine and guess what they did not turn out like I did. instead they used their adversity as stepping stone to their greatness. They did not depend whether circumstances favour them or not instead they went out and made circumstances favour them....” While he was saying that I recalled a sermon that was shared by the pastor few months back: titled Winners mentality. Basically he said most of the things that Thulani said. Just to share some of the points with you dear diary, this is what the pastor said: “What separate losers from the winners is the way they see themselves in their minds. If you think you can make it, you are right, if you think you can’t make it, you are also right. You cannot achieve anything beyond what you think you can achieve. You are the determining factor of your success. You choose how far you want to go in life; nobody can choose that for you but yourself. If there is anyone you want to blame for your misfortunes or you failures, blame no one but yourself. Do not blame your background. As far as I know we all have stories to tell about where we come from, therefore you cannot use where you come from as an excuse. Your background does not determine how far you can go in life, but you do. Do not blame your circumstances. Winners in life do not blame their circumstances for the results they are getting but they go out and make circumstances that will favour them to get better results in the future. Winners use their problems as stepping stones to greatness, instead of complaining about them. If you want to win in life, you have to take full responsibility of your life. Stop the blame shifting game; nothing will change unless you change. People will see in you what you see in yourself. People will treat you the way you treat yourself. If you think you are a loser, then you are. If you think you are a winner, then you are. As the man thinks in his heart so is he.”
Posted on: Mon, 24 Jun 2013 18:31:17 +0000
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