I know what youve been thinking... where the hell are those lists Brad used to post!? Right here... geez. . Calm down. Lol 1- I dont need WebMD to tell me whats wrong with me... I have my mother. 2- You’re going to make some cats very happy one day. 3- If the NSA and IRS teamed up, I wouldn’t have to do my taxes... so.. chop chop! 4- Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye... then watch them try and figure out which one it is. 5- SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: theyre smart, confident, and aware they dont need us, so yeah, you should be worried. 6- I love you unconditionally*. -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details. 7- I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’ 8- Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire 9- Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the “ABCs” in my head to remember which letter comes next.. 10- My gift horse is facing the wrong way... 11- There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people. 12- I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing. 13- Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... This is the insurance you are looking for. (I didnt get enough sleep last night.) 14- I wonder if Alex Trebek s tombstone will read, who was the host of Jeopardy 15- On this bottle of Pepto Bismol it says,4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it? 16-They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying. 17- Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, if that doesnt accurately describe my life I dont know what does... 18- Instead of a To-Do list, I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.... 19- Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected... 20- *from the man who lives with 5 women-- I think Tampax and Hersheys should get together and offer a super pack....
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 17:12:15 +0000
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