I know why people question the existence of God. I get it. Struggles, hardship, loss, depression, injustice, anger, sadness, failures. So tell me, that when ALL these things occur, and ALL of our plans are derailed, and we have lost ALL of our hope, why is it that we prevail? HOW is it that we prevail? I spent many years searching for my soul. I spent many years sad, feeling alone, feeling hopeless and in the bottom of my heart I felt that I would never get to experience a happy life. I look back and see how every moment, every small choice and every important decision have put me where I am right now. Every little piece of my life puzzle has so graciously been pieced together, one, by one, by one. To lead me to one tiny moment about 10 minutes ago where my almost 3 year old asked me to practice her ABCs and pointed to her S for Shea. We repeated it several times, and after she told me to go to sleep in my own bed (I told her before how tired I was), I told her I love her and I heard a soft reply of I love you too, mommy. The feeling in my chest, my heart, my soul, whatever it was that I just cannot explain- THAT is God. That is God pointing out that he has pieced each moment together, he has interwoven every choice, every wrong turn, to take me to this very moment of inexplicable bliss. I spent a lot of time mad at God. But thats what it was all about, getting me to that one final moment where I threw my resentment out the window for good. I pray and pray and pray. For completion, understanding, and a fully-faith-filled heart. And I finally got it. So to those who question the existence of a power greater than man, I dare you to explain to me how in the minute spent leaving my little girls bedroom after reading books on Easter night, years of sadness, confusion and feeling so lost and incomplete- how that ONE minute, could take that all away? THAT is God.
Posted on: Mon, 21 Apr 2014 02:49:25 +0000
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