I learned a couple things today. 1. I can not seem to spend any money on myself. Decided to take a trip to target today, and the only thing I could manage to buy for me was a bottle of laundry detergent. And this happens every time I go out, so it didnt worry me too much, until I caught myself asking for a vaccum for Christmas. I think Im getting old. 2. I learned that I get anxiety when taking nova out in public, in her wheelchair. Going to the baby store is torture, I swear everybody just HAS to stare at us... Can you imagine all eyes being on you when you just want to take your kid out to buy some shirts? Do people understand that this is my child that I love, and it hurts that Im left asking myself why they all want to gawk at her? Anyways, before we even pulled up to target, I knew the drill. I knew people would either look at her, or pretend not to see us at all. Im not sure which one i would prefer. A few people even lingered around and tried to make small talk. I try to tell myself its just because her wheelchair is pink with sparkles but deep down, I know better than that. Im just still trying to be okay with people staring at my daughter. But at the same time... Im not sure its okay at all. Nova is my teacher and today was a test. & I still have a lot to learn.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 03:35:21 +0000