I learned the importance of solid grief work early in my life. Little did I realize that in doing so, I was taking the steps to a greater freedom. In honouring my grief in bereavement work, I learned that grief happens because you truly loved someone or something. It is the price of loving. It takes courage to love, and when the loss happens, we can give that love the dignity by honouring all our feelings that emerge from that grief. We grow by moving through it, not suppressing or denying it. This was the journey of Job in the Old Testament. "A young man that cannot cry is a savage. An old many that cannot laugh is a fool." EMOTION - FATHER RICHARD ROHR We must go through the stages of feeling, not only in the last death of anything, but all the earlier little deaths. If we abort these emotional stages by easy answers, all they do is take a deeper form of disguise and come out in another way. So many people learn that the hard way—by getting ulcers, by all kinds of psychosomatic diseases, depression, chronic irritability, and misdirected anger—because they refuse to let their emotions run their course, honor them consciously, or find some appropriate place to share them. Emotions are not right or wrong, good or bad. They are merely indicators of what is happening, and must be listened to, usually in the body. People who do not feel deeply finally do not know or love deeply either. It is the price we pay for loving. Like Job we must be willing to feel our emotions and come to grips with the mystery in our head, our heart, and, yes, our body too. To be honest, that takes our entire life. My emotions are still a mystery to me, and without contemplation they would control me.
Posted on: Tue, 09 Jul 2013 07:03:57 +0000
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