I like looking forward. Not so much looking back. There are reasons... Looking forward is a positive experience...filled with opportunity, possibility, and hope. There is no darkness...no shadow of reality blocking the light. Its a joy to look forward. Looking back is the opposite. I still see all the opportunity, possibility, and hope that existed there, but its marred by the darkness of how I failed to take advantage. It is filled with the shadows of disappointment, guilt, and loss. Dont get me wrong. Looking back offers some wonderful memories of good things accomplished...great decisions made. But, for me, its mostly discouraging to look backward...because...no matter how few or many...my failures and missed opportunities cast unmistakeable shadows. Yet, I must look back...at least a little. It tells the truth about me far more than looking forward. In fact, if I dont look back and breathe in the truth about myself...the truth of how I lived or didnt...the positive future I imagine will be more like a fantasy. Unless I learn from my yesterday, my tomorrow will be a repeat. So, I look back. Not so I can beat myself up or live in the bitterness of my disappointment. But, so I can learn, adjust, spare myself from casting the same shadow in the future that I did in the past. Im excited about the New Year thats coming. But, to make it all I believe God wants it to be in my life, Im spending some time torturing myself with the past. Im looking back so I can live better as I move forward. Its not fun. But, its instructive. My prayer is that God will help me to be a good student...to learn the lessons available to me...and to make appropriate application. My prayer is that the life I live in the new year will leave less shadows and bring more joy...in my life...in the lives of those I touch...and most importantly in Gods eyes.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 16:01:07 +0000
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