I like to be open about my illness and I like people to understand so Im going to explain everything in this status. I have bipolar and schizophrenia which is classed as schizoaffective bipolar disorder. Bipolar is a mood disorder it doesnt mean Im up and down every 2 seconds it means I can spend months and months depressed, suicidle, self harming, hallucinating, being agitated and having rage to being manic spending all my money sleeping with people basically feeling on top of the world. My antipsychotic and mood stabiliser medication (olanzapine) stops me being manic but doesnt help much with depression, at the moment I am depressed I keep trying to kill myself I keep self harming I am just really really unwell. Schizophrenia is hearing voices and hallucinating they have negative symptoms which is like he depression in bipolar and positive symptoms which is the mania in bipolar. I hear voices telling me that my family hate me that Im fat Im ugly I dont deserve to live I should kill myself etc etc. they tell me to self harm they tell me to stab myself take overdoses jump in front of cars and strangle myself. I first experienced depression in bipolar when I was 6 years old, i was emotionally and physically abused by my biological fathers family when I was just 8 and I started self harming when I was 12. I started hearing voices and seeing things like animals and a man standing in my room when I was 15 and I was diagnosed when I was 16 Ive been in hospital once before for 5 weeks and Im in hospital again for continuously attempting to end my life. Im going to be on medication for life but every single day that I love with these illnesses I get stronger. I hope that this status has given those who have read it an insight into what my life is like and how it has been for me if anybody has any questions just inbox or text me.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 16:13:11 +0000
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