I like to do social experiments. Its a hobby. Try not to think about what that means about me, because I know already. Narcissistic, condescending, and manipulative. But Ive learnt some interesting things about people over the years that I wouldnt necessarily have if I wasnt playing with peoples brains. For starters, music has a measurable effect on behaviour. In private music can dramatically improve a persons happiness, coherence of thought, and overall performance at varied physical tasks, from excercising to cleaning. In public, music also has an effect on people. Specifically, classical music has a significant relationship with peoples behaviour. It encourages kindness, patience, as well as a persons sense of self control and moderation. Metal, punk rock and alternative music, however, has pretty much the opposite effect. People are more impatient, angrier, and more likely to lash out at a mild annoyance or inconvenience. Music people listened to while growing up and in their 20s has a similar effect to classical music, but more euphoric. Some people will even spontaneously break out into singing (and or dancing) when hearing a song they really enjoy but havent heard in years. Conversely, music people do not enjoy has a similar effect to rock and metal music, but is more likely to aggravate and cause dissention. It can even cause an argument between strangers, just because one person doesnt enjoy what they are hearing. I had an interesting time making all those observations, but not nearly as much as I did on what I am going to talk about next. The percieved value of a relationship. A relationship can mean many things. It can be romantic, friendship, family, or just a casual acquantance. People often associate their relationships with their friends, family and loved ones with emotions, but a relationship also has a quantifiable value. First, I need to define said value. The value of a relationship is in two parts. The physical value, as in anything that can be defined in the real world as an object or otherwise has a physical meaning. For example, you are polite to your boss because they pay you money. You are nice to your parents because they would likely lend you money if you asked. And you are nice to your friends because they would let you sleep on their couch if you needed, or they regularly turn up at your house with a 6 pack. These are all physical reasons we behave certain ways in relationships. Obviously these are singular examples and do not come close to defining each relationship in its entirely. There are plenty of other physical motivators in relationships, like you are nice to your parents because they lend you their car, or you buy your girlfriend gifts because she sleeps with you. The second value of a relationship is the emotional value. The emotional value of a relationship is how the person makes you feel, both when you are together and apart. Emotions are hard to define, but in their simplest forms, they can be divided into good and bad. Your loved ones make you feel good about yourself, and make you happy, and other people you dont like make you angry or sad. And the more someone makes feel good about yourself the more inclined you are to spend time with them and be nice to them. So these are the two core aspects of any relationship between two people. The physical, and the emotional. The physical is easy to associate with an actual number, in that you can add up all the things a certain person buys for your or otherwise does for you that has a financial value. Emotions are much harder to associate with an actual number, but to each of ourselves we know the difference between positive and negative emotions. And while you might not be able to say exactly how much a certain person means to you, it can be said whether that person means a lot to you, or whether they mean enough to you that you enjoy their company, or that they mean more to you than any other person on the planet. Now both of these main parts of relationships, physical and emotional, have a negative aspect. The negative physical cost of a relationship is what it costs you, in time, in money, and in physical effort, for example being obligated to regularly drive someone somewhere. In regards to emotion, each relationship, depending on if it be a partner, family member, close friend or anything else, has a negative emotional cost. This can be extremely varied, from a friend making you belittle yourself or feel jealous because they have better job prospects than you, or a partner who demeans you by negatively talking about your weight, or even a wayward family member who causes you undue amounts of stress with their actions. All of these aspects also have the potential to either increase or decrease depending on circumstance, which is a concept we are all aware of and concious of, even if we are not directly thinking about it. There is always the potential you could get promoted, so you keep doing your job. There is always the hope your girlfriend will marry you, so you maintain the relationship. Conversly, there is the negative potential, for example a lazy friend becomes even more so and relies on you more for certain things, or a younger sibling as they grow older might in turn begin to want you to drive them everywhere. Also, every relationship has two sides. So each of these four factors, the positive physical, positive emotional, negative physical, and negative emotional, the other person in the relationship has their own individual four factors that have the same basis as your own. So a relationship between two people has 8 individual components that comprise the actual relationship, with each component breaking up into a variety of different aspects, with all aspects able to increase or decrease depending on circumstance. With all that being said, you can begin to quantify a relationship. Bear in mind not with an actual number, but with the principle of balance. Each side has two positive parts, and two negative. Each individual has so much to gain, so much to lose, in a physical and emotional sense. For a relationship to be balanced, both sides need to feel they are putting in an equal share of the negative physical, ie doing equal amounts of work or sacrificing an equal amount, are experiencing a balance of the negative emotional aspect, ie are both experiencing equivalent detrimental feelings, which are often entirely unrelated to each other, while at the same time each party needs to believe they have an approximately equal physical gain from the relationship, for example your friend always drives the both of you an hour to a regular event, but you always pay for the tickets, and both parties need to believe they are gaining an equal unmeasurable positive emotion from the relationship, for example partners hope that they make their loved one feel as good about themselves as they do for them. When things become unbalanced, most people tend to attempt to maintain or repair the relationship. This is often done by increasing the effort or value that goes into another aspect of the relationship. So if you feel like your friend doesnt enjoy spending time with you so much any more, which is a decrease in the positive emotional response, you might try to encourage their enjoyment by increasing what you put into the physical side of the relationship. For example friend A hasnt called friend B in a while, so friend B takes friend A to an event and pays all financial expenses. Bear in mind the decrease does not have to be emotional and the increase does not have to be physical. Any aspect of a relationship can take a turn for the worse, and the common response is to increase another aspect. Two things can happen at this point. Either the relationship returns to its original, balanced state because the negative change of state has been countered by a positive change of state, or, the relationship eventually becomes so skewed and unbalanced that one side ends it. Bit of a downer to finish on, I know, but I think Ive made my point. All relationships between two people can be quantified by their physical and emotional aspects, all relationships must be as balanced as possible, and when the balance fails, their is a chance to relationship will end, or balance will be restored and the relationship will continue. I hope the 8 people that bother to read all of this found it as interesting to read as I did to write.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 17:57:07 +0000
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