I love this article. She really hits some nerves on what we are supposed to believe being a good woman is all about, especially here in the South. I talk to women all day long in my office about relationships, goals, dreams, depression, anxiety. Most of us do have a psyche deeply rooted in the need for praise, and the fear of criticism, which really holds us back from our potential. She gives some concrete suggestions on how to recognize this in yourself and what to do about it. This is a great interview with the same writer: goodlifeproject/tara-sophia-mohr/?t=radio A NEW study by the linguist and tech entrepreneur Kieran Snyder, done for Fortune, found two differences between workplace performance reviews given to men and women. Across 248 reviews from 28 companies, managers, whether male or female, gave female employees more negative feedback than they gave male employees. Second, 76 percent of the negative feedback given to women included some kind of personality criticism, such as comments that the woman was “abrasive,” “judgmental” or “strident.” Only 2 percent of men’s critical reviews included negative personality comments. Criticism stings for all of us, but women have been socialized to not rock the boat, to be, above all else, likable. By the time a girl reaches adolescence, she’ll most likely have watched hundreds of films, television shows and advertisements in which a woman’s destiny is determined not by her own choices but by how she is perceived by others. In those hundreds of stories, we get the message: What other people think and say about us matters, a lot. In the context of these influences, what allows women to become free of concerns about the reactions they or their work will provoke? I’ve found that the fundamental shift for women happens when we internalize the fact that all substantive work brings both praise and criticism. Many women carry the unconscious belief that good work will be met mostly — if not exclusively — with praise. Yet in our careers, the terrain is very different: Distinctive work, innovative thinking and controversial decisions garner supporters and critics, especially for women. We need to retrain our minds to expect and accept this. Women can also benefit from interpreting feedback as providing information about the preferences and point of view of the person giving the feedback, rather than information about themselves. nytimes/2014/09/28/opinion/sunday/learning-to-love-criticism.html?_r=0
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 18:53:04 +0000