I m probably gonna regret addressing this, but I ve been thinking about some things several people have discussed with me lately. Different people. And more than 2 or 3 amazingly enough!! I don t know why people talk to me about these things. I m a poor person to come to for advice about relationships but I do listen and I do my best not to judge. All different problems but all about relationships. I don t believe anyone should stay in a relationship out of DUTY or the kids or because it s easier than starting over. Staying where you don t want to be only means more heartache for everyone involved and most of the time if you re truly unhappy, you re not going to find it in a relationship you try to patch back together. That s not to say trying to work it out is always bad but you gotta know when it s beyond repair. As for one particular problem, and I ve had this happen many times, You can t make your heart love someone you don t and it s cruel to let that person think you return those feelings when you don t. I don t care if people say oh you d be perfect for each other!! Or IF and they probably really are a wonderful person. It doesn t matter!! That s called USING people. And yes, they ll let you. They love you that much. You can hurt them and they ll come back for more over and over but what does that say about you? You can make all the excuses in the world as to I NEED a friend when you re down but you re still letting them believe their feelings might be returned some day when you KNOW they will not. However, there are a few people who know what being used is like. And they refuse to hurt another like they have been. They seem cruel and heartless to the people that want their love so badly but maybe... just maybe they value you so much they can t hurt you by using you. I know the answers I give aren t any help but sometimes you need to look at things from a different direction to see them a new way. Love is not about being perfect but it is about respect for another person s feelings. Even if they re not what you want them to be. I ve made many mistakes in relationships so I m not very good at them myself. I mostly just do what works for me. It might not be what other people would want or think I deserve but it works for me and I accept what it is. The only real advice I can give is this~ Make it clear from the start what you expect from a relationship. Call a spade a spade. If it s just an affair then say so. (No one cheats in a happy marriage, Sorry, but if they re looking for comfort somewhere else there s already a problem.) A one night stand, then fine as long as BOTH of you know that! You want a chance at forever maybe, then be sure that s what the other person wants too! Admit to what you re looking for! Talk to each other! No one I know can read minds!! Doing this saves confusion in the long run and at least you were honest from the start. This is just my thoughts on the things I ve listened to lately. So don t start arguing about my viewpoint. Life is too short to spend it where everyone but YOU think you should be. You waste it being miserable. If someone makes you happy and you make them happy, even for just a while, then take it. At least you have that moment. But just like all of you out there that stay in unhappy relationships for your own reasons, that do what you need to be happy with no regards for who is hurt in the process, that keep looking for that perfect soul mate and believe in that mythological thing called everlasting love, we all do what we think is right for us. It s all you can do.
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 17:45:26 +0000
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