I mentioned earlier that Thanksgiving is a bitter sweet day for me and I will now explain. On Thanksgiving day, 1997, my late partner, Judi, and I were preparing for our family to join us for dinner. I was cooking and Judi was taking a shower. She came out of the shower, joined me in the kitchen and gave me a kiss as she smelled the meal I was preparing. Moments later, she stepped back and a strange expression formed on her face. Her face then distorted, her eyes rolled back and I ran to catch her before she hit the floor. I realized that she was in the midst of a seizure and called 911. I supported her head with my hand and held her until they arrived. We rushed to the hospital and met her doctor there. I knew that this was the beginning of the end of her life as the brain tumor that was removed a few months earlier had returned and the cancer had spread throughout her body. She remained in the hospital for two weeks and then the doctor recommended hospice. I insisted on home hospice and made the arrangements. With the assistance of an aid during the day, I cared for her, sleeping on floor next to the hospital bed the hospice center sent over. The nurse taught me how to maintain and change her IVs, administer the morphine drip and oxygen she required. I would go to work with the aid watching her during the day and return to take care of her every evening. She was in a coma until Christmas day. She opened her eyes, saw me and smiled and I wished her a Joyous Christmas. It took her a while to realize what had transpired and the reality (unreality) of her circumstances and then she asked me to end her life. I asked if she were suffering and she said no but she did not want me to suffer. I told her that I was not suffering and that my love for her would not allow me to do anything but keep her comfortable until it was her time to depart. We had a wonderful few hours together and then she slipped back into the coma. On January 5th of 1998, her doctor visited and examined her. He said she was in the final stages of life, that her lungs would begin filling with fluid and eventually she would drown. He said the continuous morphine would keep her from suffering and said that the best thing to do for her would be to discontinue her IV feeding and allow her to transition. I meditated on this for four hours and then had a psychic conversation with her higher self. I expressed my love and gratitude to her for the life changing relationship we shared and then I asked the question. I heard, yes please, not in the voice of someone suffering but in the voice of someone ready for a new adventure. I cried for an hour and then removed the feeding from the IV, continuing the morphine. I remained by her side and two days later she transitioned, knowing that she was loved and worthy of that love. The relationship was life changing and because of it, I was able to move forward until my life was once again blessed by a very special woman, my twin flame Laurie Sue. Today we celebrated a joyous Thanksgiving and both of us lovingly remembered Judi. I am thankful for the amazing women who have partnered with me, inspired me, and made me the open hearted man I am today.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Nov 2014 21:49:50 +0000
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