I mentioned how their machine has been around me since I was a grade school kid. There are more current instances that have affected my post-high school studies. I studied at M.I. from the 4th quarter of 2000 - the 3rd quarter of 2001. The percussive education I gained there was all new to me. Until that point I thought when it came to drummers you had to be self-taught. In all honesty, the school moves quite quickly if you are new to the idea of reading music and technique. I struggled with the reading portions (years of drug use had made my mind lack the sharpness to quickly pick up reading at faster BPMs), while technique was more of a physical challenge that was affected by years of carelessly straining my tendons. Mind, body and soul indeed! Recently, I was getting technique practice on a practice pad here in my room at a very slow BPM. While practicing I noticed a strain on my abdomen area. This is the same strain I felt while studying for classes at M.I. The study sessions were done at a faster BPM than my current practice time. This means the machine has been here in this building since at least the year 2000! Another strain relating to my musical studies is in my shin muscles. I have had trouble getting my bass footing faster than it is. I would constantly attempt at growing the muscle for eventual band rehearsals. I was never able to increase my speed. In fact, most of the time my shins would begin to tense before the exercise or song I was working on was through. Practicing recently, they callously scraped the ceiling below as my shin began to tighten. Currently, they apply strain to my genitals while I practice. It is difficult to get serious practice in while meditating the pressure to various body parts away. I do not practice (with sticks and bass footing) at a fast tempo, I just attempt to find a groove pocket and let the Force flow from within. I am quite upset at this. I took out a fairly substantial loan to attend the P.I.T. program. I made the effort of being there and attending the scheduled classes. I retained the information but my body could not keep up with the information (because of the machine apparently). I have been baffled for all these years, why I could not improve my speed and increase muscle mass. Now, I know. I can transcribe songs, create my own beats/fills and write drum notation, fairly well. Though my actual playing has not grown any faster. Another instance where the machine could have affected my chosen craft is while actually inside the school itself. I was killing time between classes and decided to get some light exercise. In the middle of it, my forearm tightened and made a shclut! sound. I immediately felt a numbness begin to spread downward towards my wrist. It took me years to get my back into the condition where I could compose a hand written letter. Though, these people have used their machine meddle with my physiology to the point the healing has been undone and have made it so the circulation is so bad that, again, I have trouble sleeping. This is just another instance of the machine following me around, even without it being obvious. It seems very unfair to keep someone from their dreams. I have never been particularly good at anything else. This is one craft that comes fairly easy to me to enjoy and actually produce something unique that others could benefit by including it in their music. Whether I found success or not is irrelevant. The fact that my artistic growth is being prevented by unseen eyes is unacceptable. Its my life and my choice is to make a go of it. If God gives us freewill, what human would have the audacity to take that away? I was told by my ex-roommate that I should take music as a hobby and not focus on it as a career. Of course, he gave me this advice after I attended M.I. and took out the big loan. I am realizing there was more to it than not wanting me to find success and happiness. Some problem with the area I live in and the gangs that pertain to it. How very cruel to hold someone that comes from a blue collar family from a potential promising career. Was it my checkered past, a move to gain a person on the inside of the music industry or for another reason? I just wanted to make music and was eager to attempt to make some cash and pay off a few debts. It is unfortunate that people want to keep someone from the same background as them in a financial position of struggle so badly that it turns to desperation. What emotionally stable person would find this acceptable and satisfying? That is not even delving into the psychological and physical torture. These people came into my life asking for impossible favors and money. If money is what they wanted, wouldnt my getting a successful career by the easiest path? That is not a wise move for the business-minded individual! On the bright side, my skills with varying idiophones have improved. Making ideas flow differently. Though, with my arms and wrist being injured anew...attempting to tour and get paid the big bucks seems a distant dream. At times playing for 1 hour seems too uncomfortable. Playing various times a week for an extended period of time seems a dream best left in the subconscious.
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 09:21:19 +0000
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