I need to let you all know I did speak with Wes at length last night ! I am going to copy and paste a portion of our convo ( not the entire , because quite frankly I dont feel anyone is privy to that information ) However , he would like for these things to be known to the group as a whole ... Wes is a busy man and I want you all to know I deleted that thread because I feel it got completely off topic ... So here is what Wes said I could share with all of you : (1) BFU is not anti-birth mother organization as a general matter. There are some examples, sad examples, of birth mothers being victimized by unlawful and unethical adoption practices, and those cases certainly warrant close attention, judicial intervention, and perhaps even worthy of donations, but that decision should be left to the person donating; (2) BFU is not a group that will support fund raising for any birth mother, even if their cause is worthy. This group is simply not the place for that. There are other groups that fund raisers for birth mothers can post and make comments. Its just beyond the scope of our group, and not because we are against birth mothers overall. My personal view is that fundraising even for fathers should not be overused on BFU, because of the potential for it to turn away or rub some members the wrong way. We dont want to convey the impression that we are overly focused on fund raising, to the point that our other goals and initiatives are overlooked. We need to try and strike a balance between supporting birthfathers in every way, including financially, but also not losing sight of the other goals that we have. (3) Im concerned about the level of negativity and contention communicated in too many posts. Those feelings of negativity and contention are turning a lot of people off, some who have told me they are leaving the group, and others who have just said they have disengaged from the group and are not really monitoring posts, and rarely if every commenting. That is unfortunate. Bottom line, I understand where you are coming from. I admire your passion. I understand why this was so upsetting to you and likely others. As the administrator and founder of the group, once again, Im just trying to find a balance between all these considerations, which is not an easy thing to do when you have an organization that has reached the numbers we have, and is growing daily, and we have so many different viewpoints to try and respect, sympathize with, and support the best we can to the extent they genuinely support the overall goals of our group.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 13:39:07 +0000
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