I need to say this. Mostly for my own healing. But also because I want others to know because its important and unless I speak up no one will know and those who have shunned me because of recents events, need to know too. I have recently disengaged myself from Taanaashkaadaa sanctuary and Maria Yraceburu. For those of you who know, great, but you still may not know the full reasons, and thats ok, but it still helps to understand even a little. Both the ranch and the owner are on the elder watch list after a ceremony was attempted on a long time member this past January in Taos. He went to the elders to report them afterwards and it became a huge scandal. He walked away as I have, and he donated thousands of dollars as well, as I have. I was there in taos, I know what happened. The point is, when someone or a community goes on the watch list they are watched by the indigenous community for a period of time to see what methods are being used among other things. You can confirm this with Flo & Sal Yepa of the Jemez Pueblo if you are so called. My ceremony happened over my surgery in July this year and literally almost killed me. I was also privy to their financial dealings because I was the closest to them for a period of time. I saw for myself what was being done there with the donations being collected and how they were being spent. Why didnt I speak up then? Because I was in the fog. Im out of the fog now. Seeing very clearly. I paid their mortgage. Gave money towards all their fundraisers and used my platform to support them loyally. And I was had. Had in ways that now are extremely obvious, then not so much. Hindsight you know. They had a coalition set up to invest so they could buy the 77 acres they are on now. Some invested 50K. One of those people was getting ready to sue them for that to be returned because no one had been paid back and the bookkeeping showed the ranch was making no money. What I saw was intent to deceive. I was privy to their paperwork and contracts as the coalition coordinator which I was promised an acre of land in exchange for a years worth of work, and every time I tried to get that in writing I was given an excuse. I never received my contract. Her childrens contracts were completely filled in - all the is dotted and ts crossed, while the rest of the coalition, her investors, were missing signatures, etc and it became clear quickly, that these people were being ripped off, so she could have the house, the land and all of it after using them to get it - she told me the coalition was a curse and they were the reason it was failing financially. That said, the one member who was going to testify to their fraudulent business practices died on 911. This allowed her to get off the hook. As she believes bad things happen to those who try and cross her. And has now launched a new fundraiser to have her mortgage paid off so she can buy out the other investors and have the land for herself, which I know was to be the case all along. With Ann dead she sees a clear path t o manifest what she wants. Since I have made it public the backlash has been severe. I have been attacked psychically, other members of the family have completely stopped talking to me, the rumor mill is full. My son was injured, he said something kicked him in the air when he fell, and now faces major issues recovering from an odd accident where the injury far exceeds what happened. I have had friends fear being associated with me because of this and the list goes on and on. Im not a victim. Yet I am. I was a naive white girl who trusted the relationship, the love, the time and energy put in, and I fell for it hook line and sinker. I own that completely. I am angry. I am sad. I am heart broken. I realized yesterday while sitting with my son, that I am free. I am not associated with them anymore, or anyone within their circle who plays into that game. Im done with the deceit. I look around who is working with her still and I see myself. Fiercely loyal. Yet in that loyalty I see my own naivety. My own blindside. I see how they are being harvested, and sucked in to support her so she can continue to work her agenda - just like I was. I know we all need our lessons. We all need to go through what we need to go through. I have. I see the silver lining at times, glimpses. I hope soon I will see the full scope of the why. Until then I accept my humanness and move forward doing what I do. I have no choice. The suicides, the deaths, the failed ceremonies, the frauds are deep. That makes me sad because I believed. I believed fully. I write this now mostly for my own healing. To be heard, in whatever that means here. To have witnesses perhaps. In case I too become a casualty. After I confronted her about it I was completely cut off, and out as if I never existed. Chapters I wrote for her books wiped out of the files, off her websites, out of her events. This is good because I wanted out anyway. Where was the humanity? The phone call to work it out and resolve? the compassion? Where was my healer in my time of need? gone. For reasons only God knows. My stuff was burned, all the gifts I had given her over the years. I was wiped out symbolically. I decided not to do that. I had so many good memories, happy times, love and now I reflect on those times to heal. I tell the truth, and expose so that maybe my family and I will no longer be harassed or harmed. No more strange accidents In a world where people need healing, they come to the edge vulnerable. They seek love and kindness. And here is where some prey on others, to prove how masterful they are. Or to redeem some kind of personal karma that needs to be made-up. Using their clients as a tool to heal their own curses. So many reasons. Whatever it is, all I know is it sucks for everyone involved. And no one wins. I warned others. Reached out. Most discarded my words. Blocked me. Ran back to Maria to tell her what I said. Its ok, again I saw myself. Fiercely loyal. Wanting to be a part of something. Needing the love. Needing a nemesis and someone to blame. I know I am not the first nor will I be the last. I can see the cycle. I can see the game. I wish more of us would speak up, support, love, show kindness instead of hate. But that is the point right? To have experiences that teach you not to hold grudges. To be able to love even in someones hate. So this is my choice. To see the beauty anyway. To hold my own space regardless of who stays or goes. To not let someone elses agenda ruin my life or take it. It has not defeated me. It has not destroyed my heart. It has not killed me. Because I dont believe anyone has the power to take my life. And in that I send the negativity back to those who send it, out of my space and my life, so I may have peace. No more frauds in my life. No more fraudulent relationships. No more. This is my story. Whether you read it all or not. I needed to express it. Because maybe it will help someone else recognize the bull when it shows its horns. But most of all because it has helped me heal. Something Ive taken into my own hands. I no longer place my healing in anyone elses hands. I will do it myself. H
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 21:03:01 +0000
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