I need to vent. Usually I suffer in silence but not today. When we adopted our 2 children,2 yr ago, we had hopes & dreams & wishes as I am sure all parents do. We wanted to help them achieve their best and to offer them love & support & guidance. Our daughter is doing well and being a teenager, tests boundaries, but respects herself and others. Unfortunately, our son has become too much to handle. Not yet a teen and he is violent, defiant, hostile, and challenging beyond words. He has been hospitalized (Baker Act), as of today, 5 times in 16 months for mental health. He just returned from 2 weeks in a therapeutic home/facility on Thursday. He requires weekly therapy appointments. Now we have to lock our doors to sleep for fear of him visiting us while we sleep. To outsiders, friends or family or professionals, he is a wonderful child. To us, he is frightening. Today I feel like a failure. I am just plain done. I am not taking his verbal, emotional & often physical abuse any longer. We are seeking to place him into residential care indefinitely but have been told the process can take at least 6 months. What do we do while waiting? We have to keep taking home until he harms himself or others again, then call the sheriff & have him taken away for 3-5 days to a mental health facility. Then we get to go pick him up and then wait to repeat the process. Its a vicious never ending cycle. Mental health and aggressive behavior problems combined with intellectual disability are the most difficult to get help for. I am not looking for sympathy or additional guilt trips. I have enough guilt to live with and sympathy doesnt help. I simply needed to vent; to unload my heavy heart and mind. If nothing else understand that we are still hopeful he finds himself and can live a happy life. But we are anxious to have our lives back as a family of 3, not 4.
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 19:49:42 +0000
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