I often write to my dad. Folks may think its silly, but its been my coping mechanism since he passed away. Some of you had the distinct pleasure of knowing him. Those of you who didnt, Im sorry. You truly missed out on meeting someone, who albeit quiet and unassuming, likely would have made some positive impact on your life. While Im not generally this open, I feel the need to share tonight. Dear Dad, I was in a special place tonight where I stopped and thought to take notice of the sky. It was filled with stars. None shone as brightly as your smile. That is forever etched in my memory and will never dim. I often hear your voice saying Take a breather, Julie. Youre always on the-go. So tonight I did. The season is changing again, and the days shorter, the nights colder, but those stars when I take the time to look up-they always seem to be there. Just like my memories of you. You always taught me to put things into perspective. To make sense of the things within my control, and to cut my losses when things didnt make sense. You taught me that some people have struggles and some have hidden agendas, and that we cant always figure out life and others, but to continue to care for those who made an impact on our lives, regardless of the circumstances. You taught me that as long as I continue to learn and better myself, the best version of me is what I could be proud enough to offer this world. Its true what they say...even though youre gone, youll always be with me. I see and hear reminders of you everywhere-your smile in Dereks smile, your eyes sparkling like Dees, your voice when I talk to Mike and Steve, your favorite Panama Jack hat, the roses from your funeral still intact and tied neatly with a white satin ribbon in my bedroom-only lacking in color from having faded like the piece of my heart when you left. But nothing compares to the feeling I have when I say or do something you would have done. I made a promise to you that I would work hard everyday to continue to make you proud. Your heart was as big as that sky filled with all those stars. Im still a work in progress as you would say about other things, and although Ill never be nearly as perfect as you were in my eyes, Im getting closer. Closer to being as much like you as I can possibly be. I will keep the faith as you so often said. I love you. Until next time ♡
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 01:26:39 +0000
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