I once advised my bosom friend den in d university; TREAT UR PARTNER/FRIEND LIKE UR DOG: These are the secrets I’ve learnt, to having a successful relationship. If you can start applying these in your relationships,I guarantee that it will start transforming immediately. 1. ACCEPT UR FRIEND THE WAY HE/SHE IS: D best time to decide what kind of partner you want is before you commit to being in a relationship. If you’re always trying to change your partner, the only thing you’ll accomplish is the other person resenting you. It doesn’t get much more insulting than that. But being accepting doesn’t mean you act like a door mat, either. The best thing you can do is treat your partner like you would ur dog. (B4 any protests start, just bear with me for a second.) Just think about it. How do you treat ur dog? You don’t expect it to be anything that it’s not, because it is completely authentic. You just expect it to be a dog. It drools, barks,and wags his little tail. He’s perfect that way. You can’t help but accept it. 2. BE MORE CONCERNED WITH BEING KIND THAN WITH BEING RIGHT: Everyone has a desire to be right. And there are many occasions where being right will take you far; like choosing the best place to raise a family. Bt most of the time, insisting on being right will drive you and your partner apart. There’s been many times in past relationships where I’ve insisted on the other person seeing things my way. You can only take this so far before you end up losing sight of what you were arguing about in the first place. It’s no longer about a point, or anything else important. It’s just about being right. In the end, this just drives a wedge between you and ur partner. So which would you rather be: kind or right?hmmmm 3. BE THE BEST PARTNER U CAN BE: This sounds so obvious that you’re probably thinking, “Wow UCHE, how long did it take you to come up with that one?” I know. I knew you would say that. But since I’m the one that wrote it, I guess I better have a good reason for it. And I do. If you’re not in a relationship, you’re probably luking for the perfect partner i tel u. Mayb the reason you’re not with anyone right now has something to do with not being able to find the perfect person. Perhaps you were with someone, but the reason you’re not anymor is because you felt they were less than perfect. Or, let’s be honest, maybe he/she was just crazy. If you ar in a relationshp,u probably have lots of expectatns 4rm ur partner. You probably expect them to think like you do, and make the same type of decisions you would make.U hold it against them when they think otherwise. We spend a lot of time searching for the perfect partner and then expecting our partner to be perfect. But how much time do we spend trying to be the perfect partner for our partner?? We have all these expectations 4rm the other person, yet we don’t hold ourselves up to this as well. Doesn’t that seem like a double standard? I think so.I have learnt dat when things rn’t going well in my relationship, I got 2 try to think of how I can be a better partner. Instead of reacting and thinking “Why can’t she just be like this?” I now try to think “What can I do to be a better partner?” I’m not always perfect, but every time I do this, I feel like my relationship goes a little more consciously in the direction i want it to. 4. DONT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS,DONT TAKE THINGS PERSONAL: Just following this one bit of wisdom has saved me a lot of heartache nd trouble; not just in my relationshp, but in evry aspect of my life. We hav a tendency to think that evrythin is about us. We hav dis thing called PERSONAL/SELF IMPORTANCE. The truth is, everything is not about us. Everything anyone else does is really about them, that’s including ur partner. I know, its hard to believe, but true. If we take things personally when our partner acts not so wonderfully, we’re likely to feel unluved. We think it’s about us, when it’s really something they’re personally dealing with. That doesn’t mean we don’t call them out when they’re acting a fool. We just don’t make it about us. It’s also important not 2 make assumptions. How many times have you felt hurt because you thought your partner should have known something? Most of the time I am upset at my friend(for some reason or another) it’s because I assumed that she automatically knew something. I assumed that she knew I didn’t want to talk abt smtin with her because I had a headache. But she didn’t know and thought I was upset at her for some reason (she took it personally). Then I’m upset at her because I thought she should trust me enough to know that I love her enough to b with her when I am feeling up to it. Den she’s upset at me cos she thinks dat there’s no reason I shuld be upset at her, wen I’m d one that did sometin wrong in the 1st place. See the pointless cycle dis creates? All of this confusion can be avoided if we simply don’t make assumptns nd dn’t take things personally.DIS IS BASED ON MY PERSONL EMPIRICISM
Posted on: Thu, 21 Nov 2013 14:29:45 +0000
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